The way we move is unique. We often do many of the same tasks. Open the fridge, snap our fingers, flush the toilet. Yet even twins don't kiss the same exact way? Mannerisms and the like make each of us unique and that is what interests me. I'm unsure if I stated this before but I think I'm gonna get my Masters in Social Psych, Cal Lightman style. People watching, interests us all (I prefer it with sound OFF) and in large part voyeurism is becoming ingrained in the American way of life. As my good buddy Mike pointed out, the main reason I want to learn about people and the ways in which they interact is because I ultimately want to know more about ME and the way I interact. I know it's usually awkward or over thought but why? Why do I insist on the rules? Where do I begin and the teachings from my parents end? I want to know what you think about me when you read the stuff I write. I swear finding out why people get into fights at the swap meet more often when the temperature goes up or why alternative kids always decided to wear black is more interesting to me than my own crazy, but I'm biased.
What I know so far is that I'm not your average guy. I'm the kind of guy who at work isn't going to flirt with the girls in Cosmetics, nor am I going to be the type of person who can see fit to give two shits about anything played on the radio. What I will do is wander into the Juniors section at my store and clink the hangers together because I like the echo in the atrium. Sitting in front of my laptop always seems more preferable to going out to the bars, and for some reason I just can't seem to ever let myself "take it easy".
Take for instance this recent reading assignment I had. Cyber Bullying is some newfangled form of shit talking that kids are doing these days. Kids are sexting which is a new form of hanky panky, and gossiping which is a tried and true method of it, and combined we have this problem where teachers are having to settle disputes between people that never actually took place. No one can see the transcripts of these conversations without access to the mobile devices involved. Teachers being far from having subpoena power or the strength of the Patriot Act behind them usually have little more than the he said/she said to go on. Now all this is quite interesting and though the legal implications are interesting I would like to point out how utterly dumb and boring this all seems when you take a step back. I was a kid once and I recall being on both the giving and receiving end of such childish drivel. It is commonplace and I doubt that at any point in our nations future will this not be the case. So like I was saying I do my own thing. I actually have learned that I can't really talk as much as I would like because the more I say the more clear it becomes I am doing things just a bit differently than everyone else. It's not that I'm better by the way just different. Take for instance this July 4th. A friend I was with pondered aloud, "why do we even have fireworks on Independence day?" Now to me this question transcends dumb into a realm of civilly disobedient of knowledge. It's like she didn't want to appear intelligent or pretend that this was even a big deal. I wept inside for her grade school education. I meet people all the time in college with not even a cursory understanding of basic school facts that make me realize I'm not long for this world. There really is nothing to be salvaged here on Earth. (Like I said, taking it easy isn't my forte) In my head I thought to tell her about the constitution, or the end of the Revolutionary War, or the National Anthem. Instead I sat quietly in shock, humbled by the presence of such a sheer void of knowledge. it was like standing next to Steven Hawking...only in reverse.
Life is hard, enjoyable, but hard. Sometimes it is no wonder why I prefer things more by myself. It's also quite obvious that I'm more Howard Hughes than P.Diddy when it comes to human interaction though. So it's not all your fault. Often times I know for a fact it's my fault why I'm incapable of dealing with the public. Though in my defense I've been doing all this without the aid of any chemical mood alterants my whole life so kudos to me for lasting this long I say. I feel like this has been another incredibly self indulgent and egocentric post and for that I apologize. This is afterall an exercise first and foremost in self dissection so that on the off chance I do leave my room when you meet me I will be a better person. Enough blabber for today. I'm going to go outside and enjoy the sun.
