Shut up Cat

Today I woke up roughly around 3 or 4 in the morning. In the predawn glow, from a short distance away I could hear the feline voice of someone speaking to me. It appears to have been my lucky day because Drama, our household 'fiend chose to serenade me with his song. Apparently he was hungry and wanted me to feed him. The sun wasn't yet up and in the dark his black fur made him out to be a Cheshire like character, just a voice, eyes glowing, and an outline. It amazes me that animals with such human characteristics can lead such inhuman lives. Just yesterday the neighbors dog jumped it's fence and chased him right in front of the kitchen window. I shooed the dog back home and let Drama come in only to find he was kind of a wreck. I didn't know animals could get scared like that. I mean do Zebras spend 15 minutes shaking and shivering every time they escape from a Lion? I have no clue but the point is Drama was having a serious emotional breakdown and I was having none of it. Perhaps this visit to my window was his way of retribution or perhaps he is just some sort of food crazed maniac. (It's definitely the latter)

I've said it once, I'll say it again. I hate cats.

I miss you all the time

I don't like assholes...no really like visible anus' annoy me. But the two I live with make me miss Waffles like the dickens. These two cats I live with now are nothing like her and I truly loathe and detest them. And what makes them the worst is that they have some sense of entitlement to everything. They try to sit on your lap and when you shoo them away they will force themselves on you. I however am not one to be bullied and so after many failed attempts Vince and/or drama always make it a point to stand facing away from you with tail held high, looking for someone else to bother. I'm not so naive as to think they don't know I'm now getting a full view of their butt hole. In the cat version of flipping the bird it's passive aggressive and somewhat bitchy. Just like every other trait they have.

I don't hate cats, but these two really make me understand why most people do. I also can't get with the shedding. I remember having a day dream about people shedding the same way snakes do; Head to toe, and only once a month or so. This is more to do with the fact I hate the way I feel after I exfoliate, but before i use lotion but it should be a universal truth that if you shed you have to do it all at once and in an easy to clean method. Snakes>Cats

I'm going to have stop this fairly random diatribe and move on to something a bit more...Fascinating.

Jan. 9, 2010

So my new girlfriend is a cat. She is so much like other women I've dated that in the wake of all I've been through it's scary. My roommate Ariana has a cat named Waffles, and I've never lived with a cat before so all her mannerisms are new to me. Basically it is this: When she wants my time she will have it, or if she needs attention she will have it. My space is her space, and it is implied that if I'm eating something she may inquire about it, and possibly taste some of it...But if you had shown me this 2 weeks ago I would have thought you were referring to any girl I've dated, not my new feline friend. It's also worrisome, because when Waffles assumes her spot on my lap and almost knowingly knudges my hand with her face to get me to pet her, I do feel like I should. I don't know why but when she meows at me, It's hard to ignore her. Hmm, there is something so enchanting about both women and cats that if you aren't careful you will find yourself at their beck and call. I try so hard not to fall into this cycle but there is just something I find alluring about that sense of entitlement. It is a bad habit, with any luck Waffles helps teach me to break that spell.

I suppose it's as simple as this. She knows that her wiles will get her what she wants, and for me I'll always be wanted. Who said relationships had to be healthy anyway.