Geek Life

I'm going out tonight, and I have work tomorrow so it will be a while before I get a chance to check back in. Until then I offer more proof of my utter Nerd-dom. I am so much more concerned with downloading this new song by Dave Sitek than oogling Daisy that I can actually tell you what book she was holding towards the end of the video. And it only took me like 3 views to decide I don't care for her dancing.....Yea I said it.

No Pants Dance

I'll bet you can't guess who I think looks best in this shot. No really you can't.

"The girls I used to chase round were nothing but looks"-Chester French

I could easily do this for the low, low price of $20

Yeen knOW!

No matter how bad it is now I'd rather live in 2010 than 1910.

Absolutely gorgeous...Ladies, you look nice too.

Kim I fucking hate you and your horrible taste in men. Take off that silly ass hat!!

Hey look at this.

Made enough for two boy, Stunt Double

Trannies

Life is a party

Be still my beating heart.

"As a father your only job is to keep 'em off the pole."

No checked Luggage

Fuck what people think. I do what I want.

Oh hello there. #lordhavemercy. El oh El smiley face.

She has a great GPA.

I had a post go up last night which I'm pretty sure no one saw. If you did then that memory is worth it's weight in gold because I don't think it's going back up. It wasn't anything dramatic I just was unhappy with its quality and after mulling it all day I didn't get to it in time to take it down. My bad. Instead I hope you like the pictures.

Shout out to all the people with nothing better to do. Don't watch me, Watch tv.

These Things-She Wants Revenge

Gag order Pt.2

I'm back..a little late as always, but I trust you all had a good holiday weekend.

Thanks,

The Mgmt.

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The older I get the more I realize why people don't want to talk to each other, and why mind reading though improbable seems like a highly overrated talent to have. Let's all take a second to think of the things we think about during a day.

Now lets all promise never to discuss any of that with anyone...because that was just disgusting. I know I have thoughts I wish I could forget all the time. All the time. I wish I KNEW HOW to QUIT you!! No I'm kidding I quit you already...hehehheeh. Shouts to Pruane2Forever.

All I'm saying is that the other day I walked home with bullets and condoms in my pockets. Well actually I went to dinner first at a family restaurant and all I could think was, "if only these folks knew I was so prepared to both end and prevent life right now.." In reality I had just helped a friend move and the two things he had most of in his place were just that- Bullets and Jimmies. I have no clue why an abundance of either is truly necessary but I'd like to think that he just anticipated the worst and that needing a lot of either means either something very good or very bad and so it would be best to be fully prepared for such a moment. Anyway as parting gifts and the down payment on my days work I was afforded a sample of his cache...That's what she said.

I have a spider's bite on my inner thigh. This upsets me in a way that is quite like finding..mud... on your white shorts.... before Wimbledon. God that was an awful analogy. I suppose it's somewhere north or a trip to the dentist but awfully far south of finding a quarter on the ground. As random daily occurrences go, for me, finding a bite of any kind is at it's base a symbol. I, as I'm sure we all do, find my body adorned in every manner of scratch, bruise and sometimes even bites, while putting on clothes or during showers . (My ex used to bite me..HARD. I don't bruise easily but I did often. The perks of long distance relationships are few though, so I'll count bites as one.) But they were all signs, markers, of the fact that someone or something has been on your body and when you get bitten by a spider it almost always is in your sleep and almost never does it yield super powers. So in my opinion they are a a wholly dissatisfactory thing. I do not like it and no matter what Kate says about them eating pests I've never sought out to harm a spider and I'd appreciate if they showed me the same respect.

US Soccer finished as we all knew they would, at home watching like everyone else. There is no hope for the US side to ever contend for a top spot in world soccer competitions because our best athletes are doing every other sport but this. My own brother for instance would make a great body double for Oguchi Onyewu but he is now riding the pine all so he can keep getting a free education at one of the top universities in the nation. I don't disagree with his choice completely. I think it is a safe, smart move. If I had his talents I might try to play at the highest level simply because our team is so piss poor and it would be a nice exercise in exploration to see just how much better we could get by adding talent alone. Never mind our grade school tactics or the complete lack of team alchemy on field. Oh well. Brazil has been bounced and so they too will sit by and watch. Funny how two overhyped teams have been ousted by more upstart competition. I don't read the Portuguese news but I'm pretty sure one of the biggest endorsers of the Brazilian side is actually an american company. Nike and all the oodles of soccer fans here stateside adorned in the Azul y Verde latch onto them because our own team is so incompetent. Hungry to latch on to a winner more so than most othe countries we eschew patriotism and root for Goliath instead of our own burgeoning David. It is hard to root against a team like the Brazilians but there is no reason why so much talent should fizzle out so readily. What they have in talent usually makes up for the lack in perseverance but in the sad reality of things the US and Brazil are at opposite ends of the same truth; One is too talented for their own good, the other just thinks they're too good.

I know I shouldn't but I'm going to anyway.

I don't know who makes these but they make me feel like I'm on the Truman show.

As all guilty men do, You will rewrite your History

I've got to assume that since literally 99% of you watch me work and never interact that you aren't looking to be heard, but are here to see what I have to offer. In that sense I feel better because I always felt bad for not including your vision here, but at the same time am sad because I have to admit I'm not entirely sure I can hold the audience. No matter I'm going to keep doing what I've always done. So here goes.

I went to lunch with a classmate of mine last week. Something I honestly wish I could have done more of in the past but that wasn't my journey so I don't stress it. The days post tense have left me thinking only one thing...I think I was a bit too comfortable in my own skin around her? I hear the way to handle these things is to just be yourself but when you're me that can be both a good and bad thing. It's a bit whimsical because there are obviously many interactions and so for me to assume that it was my openness that caused any glitch in the Matrix is a tad presumptuous but not completely unfounded. Lets hope this weekend brings improved results. I love my girl Ariana by the way, who once I informed her a cock block had appeared in our class out of nowhere, told me I was going to give up rather than increase my effort. From her, and only from her is that more a statement of fact than a putdown. I don't know how she got to know me so well but no of course I have to prove her wrong because as right as she may be I'm still competitive.

My idea for the sleeve tat' is basically at a standstill. I know I want it and I know where I want it. But the final two choices are much harder. Where to get them and whether to get them are pretty much road blocking the process. I have plans to meet up with a friend back in Long Beach in a few weeks and hopefully she can help shed light on all this and Melissa should be back from her honeymoon by then so I'm sure I can get an earful of sense from her too. Though...now that I think of it, she's had some "work done" so maybe she won't be as down on this idea as I expect. I have this weird urge to implode sometimes and I think it might manifest itself in a post soon. I mean True Hollywood Story type, tell all post about myself that may needlessly put things into the public forum that don't need to be there. I dunno why it is those things intrigue me in the least but..if I were like everyone else then I suppose I wouldn't be writing this would I?

P.S. - SEE YOU THERE!!!!!!

I only Lie if I'm paid

I just finished the worst workout of this year I'm sad to say. It should be no surprise though as these things come in threes. I had the worst BBM conversation of the year earlier in the day, followed by the worst post EVER (Blogger #fail) so when the workout I'd been looking forward to crashed and burned it shouldn't have really shocked me. These things come in threes. When I look back on the lessons learned today I want to always remember that no matter how hard I try the world will always see me as what I am, not that I wish to be, writing is an organic process but that doesn't mean it has to be disorganized and most importantly as much as I enjoy it, my time would be best used in a gym that didn't allow scantily clad women in.

Took my whole flavor, I call her Coke Zero

Another post that rips off a Jay-Z lyric for a title is well underway and I'm happy to be back at the keys. The blatant product placement in his lyrics though disturbing is still effective. The man is a wordsmith, thats for certain, and it is my hope that I amount to be the same at some point. As of yet I don't feel quite that way but I found a story on the net that I think accurately shows some pretty great story telling. There is a big problem in this story and I want you to see if you can spot it. It goes as follows:

"My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered. I then said, “Is that your final answer?” She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes.” So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.” And then the fight started…"

I'm not an expert or anything, but what I do know is that this is one of those moments when the perfect joke will get you in trouble. You had better have been extra good THAT DAY, if you think you're gonna pull this off. I don't mean you let her pick what you watched earlier that night, or you told her she looked skinnier than usual last week. You had damn well better have saved her from a burning building that afternoon then not gotten mad while she flirted with the fireman who showed up. I know this because this is EXACTLY the type of thing I would say. I absolutely would. I have no filter and it's been proven time and time again that I value laughs over consistent sex. Though in hindsight I do value loyalty and devotion. Those two however are finite resources.

Orbit

Now about this problem...can anyone spot what it is? Any guesses? Here's a clue, it has nothing to do with what he said...Give up? It's simple. What in the world is he doing with a girl who would say no to that question?!? Genophobic as I may be EVEN I know that there is no way that a relationship can work if she is saying no to that question. For disclosures sake I will admit that I usually date women whose libido exceeds my own and it's spoiled me but really..? W..T..F..? I am not sure I've ever even heard no so trust me this conversation would never happen for me anyway, because the day I do hear no I'm going to burst into laughter then say, "That's cute, I'm going to write that in my diary...You ARE joking aren't you?"

This is one of many things I've come to appreciate in my single days. I think being single has made me a better boyfriend. I finally learned to pick battles and I definitely learned to appreciate the good FAR more than I worry about the bad. I feel bad that there are some guys who will settle for this kind of behavior. It's like telling me there are 2 feet wide spiders or something, I believe they exist somewhere but I NEVER wanna meet one...NEVER.

I don't really have any advice on the subject of this argument because it is as I would call it, "A hypothetical Impossibility". But what I do know is that what I've had has been good when I had it. And I've certainly never been told no. I do know someone however who does have some good advice and I've posted her before so I'll do it again because Resha "gets it". She in my mind has the perfect sensibilities a GF should have. She says lots of outlandish things all the time yet often she speaks like she knows what it is like to be a man. For instance...

Guys who don't fully appreciate stuff like this are just as bad as girls who say no.

She is freaky but she also understands simple sanitation. I'm not against anything (anymore) but it is simple math if you ask me. *kanyeshrug goes here*

We agree on the important issues...like Kimberly K.

And of course she is no fool. Nothing is getting past this one.

All that said, the following is the only truth that anyone need be concerned with. It is a lesson I had to learn the hardest way and have been working hard to spread to the masses.

Shut up Cat

Today I woke up roughly around 3 or 4 in the morning. In the predawn glow, from a short distance away I could hear the feline voice of someone speaking to me. It appears to have been my lucky day because Drama, our household 'fiend chose to serenade me with his song. Apparently he was hungry and wanted me to feed him. The sun wasn't yet up and in the dark his black fur made him out to be a Cheshire like character, just a voice, eyes glowing, and an outline. It amazes me that animals with such human characteristics can lead such inhuman lives. Just yesterday the neighbors dog jumped it's fence and chased him right in front of the kitchen window. I shooed the dog back home and let Drama come in only to find he was kind of a wreck. I didn't know animals could get scared like that. I mean do Zebras spend 15 minutes shaking and shivering every time they escape from a Lion? I have no clue but the point is Drama was having a serious emotional breakdown and I was having none of it. Perhaps this visit to my window was his way of retribution or perhaps he is just some sort of food crazed maniac. (It's definitely the latter)

I've said it once, I'll say it again. I hate cats.

That is what she said

So this is a hypothetical I want you all to play along with. It was posed to me as part of a homework assignment and I find it kind of an interesting take on a tricky situation. You might have heard it before and I’m adjusting it slightly to make it fit the WB&C just a bit better, but the story is still the same.

So in this scenario you are a person living on earth and things there are just as they are now here. You are just like everyone else, no better no worse. You happen to be single and your job allows you to support yourself, so for all intents and purposes you are part of the nameless faceless crowd that make up our metropolitan areas. In this world however there is an international star of some sort. Lets say this person is regarded like a Perez Hilton mixed with Michael Jordan. Everyone loves them, everyone wants to be their best friend. Basically in my mind (because I am a geek) this person figures out how to solve our solid fuel propellant problem and allows NASA to get to Mars with only 2,000 lbs of fuel. (usually it’s 500,000+ lbs)

They are of course rich, as their idea turns them instantly into a one person OPEC, they are charismatic, so they are like Tony Stark in that you see them as the face of their company and they must of course be good looking. It all boils down to Conan O’Brien’s personality and fame mixed with Richard Branson’s money and daredevil lifestyle with the looks of the sexually appropriate person of your choice. In my mind and for the rest of the story this person will look exactly like 1998 Salma Hayek.

Now here is the story. You are walking around one day and you happen to hear that Salma, this wonderful person whom everyone knows and loves is sick with some incurable disease. A group of especially crazed fans begin to scour the country looking for a cure stopping at nothing to find out what it is. As it happens you are the only person on earth whose blood has the antibodies to combat the illness though you don’t know it. And how anyone else knows it is unimportant but what is important is that on your walk home from work as the manager at the local Popeye’s chicken you are taken and knocked unconscious. Somehow this deranged group of super fans, intent on keeping their beloved alive, have taken you and when you wake up you realize you’ve been hooked up to Salma via some system of tubes and wires. The doctors apologize profusely and assure you that the people who did this to you have been arrested and are facing life in prison because their attempt to kill you was stopped short but not before they could connect you to Salma.

After you gather your senses and calm down from obvious anger you are posed with two options by the doctor. Unplug yourself immediately and walk away. Allowing Salma to die or maintain attached to her until such time they can produce a treatment, which could take months. They reiterate that it is completely up to you and there is nothing keeping you from pulling the plug on her but they also stress that without you she will die assuredly. What makes this scenario interesting is that you yourself agree that she is a much more important person than you. Her work has brought new discoveries to mankind. Men love her, women want to be her, she is a truly great individual and you are just a fast food joint manager. Salma is asleep and you haven't been able to speak with her since you woke up but you are told she is doing better already.

So…what do you do?

Prince-I would Die 4 U

Would it make a difference if you knew exactly how long it would take to find a treatment?

I don't know anyone personally who I think would disagree that getting up and unplugging yourself is an a good option but what if it was a trade though, your life for theirs? Maybe you get hooked up with a slice of the good life from this, maybe you get stiffed on the tip? I also made the story a little different in that this is a person who you may look up to and or be attracted to. The original author is named Judith Jarvis Thomson. What she was attempting to do was make an argument for the defense of Abortion. When I first read the Plugged in Violinist my instinct was to say screw it, I'm not chaining myself to someone against my will even if it is only for 9 months. This was mainly because I don't care about Violinists. But by making it someone I'd look up to like Leland Melvin, Kanye, etc there is an added layer of conflict. Also respecting the contribution this person has to society is something that cannot be discounted. I would love to actually see what people think about this. Comments ARE enabled so feel free to tell me how you would handle such a situation. As far as I'm concerned this is a flawed allegory for pregnancy because pregnant women don't have their uteri kidnapped and impregnated. Usually it is the result of some sort of bedroom, bathroom or backseat type activities that involve both her and at least one other male of her own species. It is no miracle how babies happen, so the whole kidnapped and woke up with some unwanted visitor line just isn't cutting it for me. I still don't know exactly what would happen to Salma if it were me she was hooked up to and the picture at the top of this post has only a tangential relation to my actual feelings so make of it what you will.