Just let me do what I need to

This post could get real deep, real fast but...well let me stop there. Everything I write has that potential. What I mean to say here is that no single piece of television has influenced my life quite the way Breaking Bad has. The characters all make me hate them and then respect them or some iteration thereof. I honestly have to say I can't tell you how realistic the show is due to my limited experience in the drug game but I can vouch with absolute certainty that the lessons the show teaches are beneficial in the life game. I mean lets take Marie, Walt's sister in law. She is a kleptomaniac, she's selfish, and she can be irrational. She also is loving and devoted. Her man was gunned down by some hitmen working for the Juarez cartel and instead of being consumed by fear **coughmomcough** she stepped up her expectations of herself and everyone around her. Of course to an equally irrational level as you'd expect but still no bed was too comfy and no silverware was too clean. She fought and advocated for her man and best of all...She was there to kick his ass when he didn't want to work. When he had given up on himself she reminded him there were those who looked up to him and relied on him. The scene is perfect because it actually illustrates a piece of advice I've given several of my girlfriends*. (*Not lady callers, female amigos.)

"Whenever you want to say something and be sure your guy hears you, make sure you're gripping his balls when you say it." I guarantee with 100% certainty that even if your man is dumb enough to not do it, he will be able to recite word for word what you told him. If by chance he doesn't recall then guess what...He's not your man.

If you're curious, the scene revolves around Hank not wanting to get out of the hospital because he was embarrassed to need help walking. She was giving him a bed bath and decided to take things beneath the sheets. She dared him that if she could get him chubby then he would have to agree to come home. Like a fool he tried to get out of the bet, but talk about bets you simply cannot lose. So he gives her one minute to try and stroke his pole into tent making status and sits back daring her to succeed. To his shock and hers the lil' soldier stood at attention like we all knew it would! Smash cut to the next scene and he is being wheeled out and right behind him with a smile of perfect content is his woman. Kudos to you madam. You may be a thieving, whiny, bitch most episodes, second only to your sister Skylar (more on that hoe later) in Cuntiness. But this day you stood tall and proud as you helped your man...also stand tall and proud. {Sidenote: the only true place for a HJ is the hospital...or the movies #worksforme #truestory} The list of derogatory terms for this is long and colorful. Bottom bitch, main hoe, down as broad. But I reject those mainly because they're demeaning but also not fully accurate. She in that moment was more like the team captain.

Not always the star player, but someone EVERYBODY listens to. She saw the star of the team moping and did what had to be done, not just to pleasure this guy but also to get the team back on track. For any of you who are athletically inclined this is the role Derek Fisher plays for the Lakers. Probably the only one who has a shot in hell of getting Kobe to even acknowledge him in the crunch but still not all that important in the grand scheme.

So you see what just happened there... I wanted to tell a story of how this show in particular makes me feel like no other show (and very few people) have ever made me feel before but instead I got into a 600 word tangent. And this is why I said I couldn't let things get deep. Otherwise I'd still be explaining how there are more stars in the sky than grains of sand on all the beaches in the world and what that means about you and me ultimately. But that makes my point in a way now doesn't it. I did and often still do begrudge people based on taste. If you listen to certain music or watch certain shows, I just can't fuck with you. It's not in my nature. But I think I'm starting to relax that stance a bit. I was at a point where even though the drama is entirely constructed within the script and the show fits perfectly together because it is all planned and pre-made... I just couldn't help but be overwhelmed with emotion. And to that end I feel like anyone who can get that same feeling from something needs to indulge and be left to do so in peace. I will most likely still question your ability to be moved by Edward and Bella, or Frodo and Golem but I don't want to deprive anyone of that feeling art can sometimes give us. Goddamn this show is nuts. Catch the Finale this Sunday night.

(You've Got) The Magic Touch

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Told Ya! -The Mgmt. 6/9/10

Took my whole flavor, I call her Coke Zero

Another post that rips off a Jay-Z lyric for a title is well underway and I'm happy to be back at the keys. The blatant product placement in his lyrics though disturbing is still effective. The man is a wordsmith, thats for certain, and it is my hope that I amount to be the same at some point. As of yet I don't feel quite that way but I found a story on the net that I think accurately shows some pretty great story telling. There is a big problem in this story and I want you to see if you can spot it. It goes as follows:

"My wife and I are watching “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered. I then said, “Is that your final answer?” She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes.” So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.” And then the fight started…"

I'm not an expert or anything, but what I do know is that this is one of those moments when the perfect joke will get you in trouble. You had better have been extra good THAT DAY, if you think you're gonna pull this off. I don't mean you let her pick what you watched earlier that night, or you told her she looked skinnier than usual last week. You had damn well better have saved her from a burning building that afternoon then not gotten mad while she flirted with the fireman who showed up. I know this because this is EXACTLY the type of thing I would say. I absolutely would. I have no filter and it's been proven time and time again that I value laughs over consistent sex. Though in hindsight I do value loyalty and devotion. Those two however are finite resources.

Orbit

Now about this problem...can anyone spot what it is? Any guesses? Here's a clue, it has nothing to do with what he said...Give up? It's simple. What in the world is he doing with a girl who would say no to that question?!? Genophobic as I may be EVEN I know that there is no way that a relationship can work if she is saying no to that question. For disclosures sake I will admit that I usually date women whose libido exceeds my own and it's spoiled me but really..? W..T..F..? I am not sure I've ever even heard no so trust me this conversation would never happen for me anyway, because the day I do hear no I'm going to burst into laughter then say, "That's cute, I'm going to write that in my diary...You ARE joking aren't you?"

This is one of many things I've come to appreciate in my single days. I think being single has made me a better boyfriend. I finally learned to pick battles and I definitely learned to appreciate the good FAR more than I worry about the bad. I feel bad that there are some guys who will settle for this kind of behavior. It's like telling me there are 2 feet wide spiders or something, I believe they exist somewhere but I NEVER wanna meet one...NEVER.

I don't really have any advice on the subject of this argument because it is as I would call it, "A hypothetical Impossibility". But what I do know is that what I've had has been good when I had it. And I've certainly never been told no. I do know someone however who does have some good advice and I've posted her before so I'll do it again because Resha "gets it". She in my mind has the perfect sensibilities a GF should have. She says lots of outlandish things all the time yet often she speaks like she knows what it is like to be a man. For instance...

Guys who don't fully appreciate stuff like this are just as bad as girls who say no.

She is freaky but she also understands simple sanitation. I'm not against anything (anymore) but it is simple math if you ask me. *kanyeshrug goes here*

We agree on the important issues...like Kimberly K.

And of course she is no fool. Nothing is getting past this one.

All that said, the following is the only truth that anyone need be concerned with. It is a lesson I had to learn the hardest way and have been working hard to spread to the masses.

These Nights are haunting Me

Step aside Kim! Last night I was lucky enough to see Little Dragon perform live at Mississippi Studios. Shouts to my girl Ari and her backpack! Anyway, it was a show like most. The opener, Audie Darling was a great singer, her tempo was a tad slow for a room full of adults at 9pm on a Monday but her songs were good, and she had real talent. The interim was good, with an older crowd there weren’t the same antics of bum rushing the front that go on at other shows. Had Patrick been there I’m sure he’d have been upset we didn’t get in a fight. The lead singer actually caught my eye a few years ago when I saw her face in a blog post. She has freckles and looks a lot like Lucy Liu's foreign cousin which I suppose she is? Yukimi's mom is American and her dad is Japanese. The soulful voice she sings with though belies her tiny stature. She absolutely sings the brakes off of any song she does and without a hint of accent. Xenophobic as it may be when someone is playing your heart strings like that, it helps if it's in a tune you recognize. I went in thinking she would do a great job, but by nights end she had completely wound me up. I felt UNDER prepared for the dance show she put on. Just watch the video of their performance for Wink live and try to imagine yourself at the show somehow NOT transfixed by it all? Yes that indeed is a photo of 75% of the band playing the drums all at once.

I appear to have quite the affinity for Swedish Rock #NoABBA. I don’t mean rock like the Beatles or the Stones but Rock like the Rock n Roll hall of fame. Rock as in the coolest shit we got going right now. For the most part people call it Indie Rock because the shows are frequented by Tom’s wearing Indie kids but in reality this stuff is Synth driven, electro pop with a grown and sexy twist to it. I could never be a music critic or even a music reporter because the way genres continue to grow and intermesh makes things hard to accurately describe. Anyway, the Swedes really know how to bang a drum and so there are many acts that I enjoy. Yukimi and her fine ass as well as Lykke Li, Miike Snow, and of course Peter Bjorn & John all hail from the great music Mecca surrounding Stockholm. Just typing that list leaves me a little speechless. I feel like that lineup would murder West Coast rappers as far as quality and relevance right now. The band played great and I had a lot of fun. It’s been a while since I’ve been out in Portland and I won’t soon forget the trip.

I hope everyone enjoys the first post for today which should appear below. It's something I've been meaning to do for a while so this month is my chance to debut my involvement. I have been neglecting my new job so I need to get on that and turn in some work =( But don't fret, I will be doing a post here EVERY WEEK for the rest of the year. Thats right, starting today we will have a New post each week so you can count on steady updates.

We are already half way through the 4th month of 2010!! This year is flying by and I don’t have much to say about it. It hasn’t been a great year yet, and hopefully for you it hasn’t been a horrible one either. I can't wait to see where we end up next.

Blinking Pigs

Happy Black Girl Day

A blogger who's stature and cachet I have only begun to aspire towards started something she terms, "Happy Black Girl day". Here at OneChange of Heart we definitely like to support, and permeate that which is socially remedial and/or positive. Here is a quote I pulled from last month:

"Happy Black Girl Day: National is not big enough. International is for chumps. We are interplanetary, baby. If Pluto was still a planet, they would be in on it too. The original intent was to celebrate Happy Black Girl Day on the 7^th of every month. But the 7^th fell on a Sunday for the past two months, which reminded me why celebrating holidays on number days doesn’t always work. We don’t even celebrate Dr. King’s birthday on the real date, so who is HBGD to ask for special treatment? ...Every second Wednesday of the month will be Happy Black Girl Day."

I definitely want to support a fellow blogger with positive intentions and I surely need the exposure to new topics, so joining the movement for me was a no brainer. This month I'd like to take a look at a hero of mine who just so happens to be married to a HBG of his own. I'm not yet ready to start making any deep and insightful remarks on the state of Black women, or ANY women for that matter so for starters we are going to give a shout out to my man Roger Ebert and hopefully I can learn something about what it takes to be as successful in all phases of life as he has been.

Roger Ebert is more than just a writer or a film critic to me. He's been successful as a professional and still today even at his age has a sharp mind. I don't think anyone born before 1950 has a better handle on twitter than he does. That alone is homage enough to the great mind he has but there is something else about him that intrigues me. In a contemporary world that thrives on selling images, no matter how flawed or broken they may be he of all the people is the shining example to me of love at it's truest. His words in response to an Esquire interview about his wife Chaz absolutely astound me. "Chaz is always my protector. She had her doubts. She worries that I'm too impulsive and trusting. She is correct. Left entirely to my own devices, god knows what I might be capable of." I can only hope that one day I'm lucky enough to find a woman who can protect me the way she does him. Thyroid cancer has ruined the body lorded over by his still capable mind but their love for one another remains the same. She was a divorcee and he already exactly one month past his 50th birthday when they wed, so the maturity displayed is no surprise. Yet even still, in the climate we live in now it seems amazing any two people could find such love. While not many kids grow up saying they want to become a Critic, I don't know anyone who wouldn't be proud to raise a strong, free thinker, like Ebert. Another oddity about him is that his love for Chaz has a twist I think more people are focused on. Chaz is black, Ebert of course is white. Unlike the fetishized love of the black woman, or any other ethnicity for that matter, with whatever anatomical specialities they are deemed to have, Ebert's love seems purely about his affinity for her person. They are both intelligent, he the Pulitzer winner, she the Lawyer. I think it's an honest assertion that if a poll were taken of whom society thought a man in his position would have been likely to be romantically involved with; Black woman would finish somewhere commensurate with either Gay man or distant cousin. As a man raised by two black parents, dating black women has never seemed like any sort of great big deal, but I am not so naive as to think what Ebert is doing is something insignificant.

I applaud Mr. Ebert firstly for all his work on the behalf of thinking people in America. I secondly would like to give my well wishes to a man who's voice has been taken, but remains unsilenced. Lastly I would like to simply remark at the great love affair between these two people and ponder for later the implications of what it means for him to share this love.

I of course would like to thank @sistertoldja for allowing me to take part in the movement and I look forward to building on this post and using the space to open a dialogue about the issues facing women as a minority and minority women especially. You can find her at: http://thebeautifulstruggler.com/

Full Disclosure

I am so in love. I met Maya more than two years ago at a concert in Portland and have been absolutely head over heels ever since. I was on stage when we met no less dancing my ass off and when our eyes met it was a transformative experience the likes of which I’ve never experienced before. Maya Arulpragasm better known as, M.I.A. is the truest representation of what I think I need in a woman to be happy. She is smart, funny, sexy, and best of all has a mind of her own backed up by a smart mouth. She can be witty without being catty, and talk shit without coming across like a bitch. She is absolutely amazing. Unfortunately for me she is married and just recently had a baby so it seems she has decided to put down roots elsewhere. Meh, at least it wasn’t that asshole Diplo.

So anyway I saw her quote being passed around Twitter and the first time I read it, I don’t think I understood. So I read it again and when I was done I paused. What followed can only be described as a mix between a laugh and an awestruck gasp. Not only did she give credence to something that for so long I felt bad about thinking, but she did it as a member of the industry. It’s tantamount to Kevin Durant telling a reporter he thought Kobe was ok, but not quite as much like Jordan as he thought. Or Zlatan telling Reuters that Drogba was perhaps just a bit more impressed with himself than anyone else. I was just taken back to that night on stage, the song ending, security ushering the throng of stage hoppers back down to the floor, and me stuck staring…standing… and waving. Had she beckoned just then I have no doubt the music would have muted for me and like a zombie would I have been at her side posthaste…not.one.doubt. In the words of another great hero of mine, Pharell, once wrote a song simply saying, “I just love your brain”. Double entendre’s aside there isn’t a better way to describe my love for her. The only other person I know right now with that same mix of charisma and intellect is my very own Bodhisattva back home. Even at 3yrs old I can tell she will be far smarter than her Nino…though that isn’t much of an accomplishment. I am a clear and devout M.I.A Stan that’s no secret.

What may surprise you is that I have no idea what she is saying when she said “[Gaga] sounds more like me than I do.” I resent that statement and I have absolutely no idea why she would say that. Those bloggers who said it sounds like a case of jealousy don’t know a thing about M.I.A. She has had the opportunity to sell out and passed. Her songs blew up when the mainstream heard her song in that damn Pineapple Express commercial or in Slumdog Millionaire. There is no way she thinks Gaga is somehow privy to chances she wasn’t. What she is though, is upset at the fans for eating up the garbage Gaga often puts out. That commercial she put out under the guise of “music video” for Telephone is a perfect example of how they couldn’t be more different.

Hate week is coming back soon. I have new things to hate, and fresh content for you to enjoy so stay tuned and I will be sure to keep you updated. Now it is time for the latest installment of Your random story about my time at UCLA medical.

So I suppose that last story I mentioned was a bit dramatic, but again I will emphasize that the simple fact I am here to recount it makes it all less so. In class the other day we were discussing abortion and it reminded me of a story I heard after I got out of the hospital. After I faded into that effortless sleep I spent a day or so under sedation and at some point my heart went berserk…again. I never gave the story much thought but now after trying to imagine life or death decisions being made without my input I find myself especially emotional. It is also scary to think what it must have been like for those who were there. I never shut up…ever. I never ever stop telling people what I want them to hear and in part that can be reassuring for people. Watching people work on me yet never see me open my mouth to chastise someone for something must have been a strange experience. So I have no memory of what had gone on. May 1, 2009 – May 3, 2009 are days I won’t ever recall, it’s part of my life that someone else has but I don’t, those memories are fuckin’ collectors items as far as I’m concerned. But unlike O.J. I promise not to stick you up to get them back. The story I had in mind involved the whiteboard I mentioned. I guess that at time there was some disconnect between my conscious and my subconscious because I was asking for things like juice and bagels, and something known as the Bruin Breakfast. I think I only ever ordered the Bruin Breakfast once and that was without a breathing tube in. I’m stubborn but not that stubborn. My stomach was literally forcing my hand to write these things. I find that amazing. I find it interesting digging up these stories bit by bit. I didn’t allow myself to feel emotions back then as many people close to me surely can attest. Looking back from this safe distance and feeling scared at a memory is like seeing a Scary movie or something. It’s riveting but truly horrific all at the same time. Next time I’ll talk about my friend Olivia and her eminent retirement.

Golden Handjo...shakes

I just started working for the man and now I'm learning to hate writing. I loathe and detest the thought of doing it for such meager wages. I need to hurry and win a pulitzer quick. My dream in life right now is to sign a fat contract and then get bought out. I'm all about that PAYcation ya'dig? One thing is for sure, I love me some ME. Writing solely from the Third person is tough work.

Oh yea, and if you wanna read this new stuff, you can find it right hurr'.

I haven't written in a long while

But I really want too. I have a lot to say, and more importantly questions to ask. I've been far to lazy of late and I will do better. For tonight I will leave you with these words from a favorite band of mine. Ella quiere Venganza. They above all else have taught me, I really should pay more attention in the future.

She smelled like 2am

Took him back to her place

Where all the saints adorn the walls

Delivering her from grace

He knew he should leave

That this could only turn cold

She was a bad bad girl

So he told her so

Under the shadows of doubt

He had the whisper of lust

He said no touching tonight

She closed her eyes in his trust

She said tuck me in

He knew his judgement was sound

Still he pulled back the sheets

And said you better lie down cause the angels are watching

She closed her eyes and said quit the talking

You can hurt me do whatever you like

Her every word was in italics

As it would fall from her lips

The walls made of broken promises

He hoped this wouldn't be his

She said tell me what to do

He knew right then he was done

Feeling lonely and confused

He said you better lie down cause the angels are watching

She closed her eyes and said quit the talking

You can hurt me do whatever you like

So he said shut your mouth girl the angels are listening

You better lie down cause the angels are watching

She closed her eyes and said quit the talking

You can hurt me do whatever you like

She crossed herself now the moments are missing

You can hurt me do whatever you like

Glancing through the curtains

Questions on her tongue

She spoke in third person

And he had seen every one

Awkward and admitted

Said shut the door when you go

Perhaps he should have reconsidered (oh no)

When he said you better lie down cause the angels are watching

She closed her eyes and said quit the talking

You can hurt me do whatever you like

So he said shut your mouth girl the angels are listening

She crossed herself now the moments are missing

You can hurt me do whatever you like

Listen to your Heart

In case you missed it, you may wanna check this out first: The Prelude

Never bad when I can work in a bad heart related pun to open up a post. I found a letter I wrote a few years ago. I’ve been sitting on a Valentines day post for quite sometime. But I’d rather use this because it’s much happier than what I’d previously written and as I promised, this will be mostly "nice"? However, love, the idea of loving unconditionally and being happy forever with another human being are deep and troublesome topics to write about. Out of respect for my readers who have found their soul mates, and those who think they’ll never find their soul mates, or even have one to begin with, I’ll shy away from talking about the institution of love, because I have many many thoughts, though none are concise enough for this entry. Rather I will just describe how Love should look as far as I’m concerned, and show you something it made me do one time.

Valentines day and any ritual centered around gift giving on the basis of love seems flawed to me. Love should make us want to do things without being asked to. If you can circle the date on the calendar in which you expect to receive some gift from a loved one and it’s not your birthday then my natural inclination is to try and trick you. In the past this has led to my week before deliveries, and also to my outright refusal to participate. You can imagine which of those days went over better than the other.

The other thing about Valentines day that disturbs me is that I think it unfairly emphasizes one time displays of affection over sustained acts of love and appreciation. One thing my ex could never understand was that by asking me to kiss her, or saying she wanted me to tell her I loved her, I inherently felt like I should wait but then make note to make sure I did or said those things more going forward. I understand people like the simple binary of asking and then immediately receiving. But for me it was more complicated when it came to love. I want to permeate the totality of someone’s experience with me with positive memories and good times. I can’t do that if I’m just giving of myself just when expected. Case in point, I have a complex about giving when you see it coming, it feels false, it feels fake, and I don’t like it. I'd sooner lie to you just so I can surprise you, than tell you the truth and give you what you expect. All that aside, in the future I’ll definitely work to go back to being more spontaneous with my love, and try not to be as predictable, I’m sure it was easy for you to deduce that outside of Valentines day I must have been getting requests for a reason.

Back to this letter of mine. It was unformatted when I saw it, I don’t think it was ever meant to be. All I said was…

I love you, the way you are, when we’re not together.

I think it’s why friends can feel stress when they live together for the first time.

You’re so nice to me, when you only see me sometimes.

It’s like you’re fighting to make the space between now and the next time you see me Shorter.

You are more beautiful than I think even I knew. I’ve known you longer than we’ve been dating. But sometimes I swear I’m seeing you with new eyes.

Hanging out, you and I both, is some sort of vacation. What we say and what we do is hardly planned, but when we don’t it feels like we have to make up for lost time.

I laugh at you constantly, You amaze me constantly.

I don’t underestimate your ability, you’ve proven time and again you have no other plans but us.

I like the sound of that, the same way the drums in The Seed 2.0 sound right just as soon as you hear them. Matt Tong, ?uestlove, Dave Grohl Type drums. Soul shaking certainty.

You drive me crazy and I love it.

I honestly don’t know when I wrote this, it was probably during the summer of 2007. During this class I took on Love and Sex. Psych 399 I think it was? I was single at that time ironically enough, headed into what would be the most tumultuous summer I’ve ever witnessed, followed by the single worst Valentines day ever. I cannot imagine a more horrible set of circumstances but lets just say my date tried to change her flight back home within 2 hours of seeing me, and then at some point I threatened to make her sleep outside once I found out she actually HAD moved her flight up to 6 am the next day. Oh and then she changed it back again and we ended up spending the next 3 or 4 nights together. A very different 4 night stand than the initial one we had. WHOAH, I’m getting flustered just thinking about that. Yes for those of you counting at home, that's one trip home from the airport, 2 calls to the ticket office to change flights, $100 dollars in fee's to end up leaving the same day you originally planned to, and the true recipe for disaster. I was just weeks from my 22nd birthday then as well. I swear, my whole kingdom to the person who can send me back in time to fix that day, though I’d go back much further than that if I could. Goodness. I haven’t even begun to describe how bad it was, because as entertaining as it may be, it was fairly traumatic for us both, and I don’t think we came away unscathed. Even now I think just the nature of that day and all that happened, makes me wish it hadn’t. That relationship saw many bouts but that one was…wow, almost unspeakable. And I LIKE fighting. This blog is specifically here for me to air out my arguments. So yes it seems alien that these words and that relationship all came from one place.

Neither of them had any bearing on valentines day for me though. Love strong enough to make me that sappy, and hate deep enough to send a girl to sleep in an alley didn’t make me love or hate this holiday any more or any less. I find it just as flawed when I’m single (like today) as I do when I’m not single. Plain and simple. Love should be good on it's own, no holiday can help or hurt that. It's a bit addicting, Love is. Like Drake said, "I want this shit forever mayne." Pat Benatar said love was a battlefield though. Hmm?

I’ll leave you all with this message, don’t ever leave your love unattended. It’s not like an accomplishment you can attain and then sit back and marvel at. I’d liken it more to that scene in Avatar, when Neytiri is describing to Jake how he will know when he’s found the Ikran meant for him. “How will I know if it’s chosen me?” and her only answer is “He will try to kill you.” Maybe there’s something wrong with me but I think that is exactly how love should be.

Maybe I should stop doing this?

She's wearing her morning face loud and proud

This wouldn't make a horrible idea for a new Tatoo

These girls witnessed 2/14/08

A compromising Posistion

Betrayal is an interesting thing. People deal with it everyday. Perhaps the most interesting thing about being betrayed, is that it's a pure byproduct of being human. Society is a construction designed to keep human's from utter chaos. We pool our collective freedom's and in exchange we gain safety. However this peace of mind is delicate and there are those of us who still subscribe to the Hobbesian ideal that life is brutish and short. That humans are unfit to govern and to trust is a mistake. Albeit there is plenty of evidence to support this, it makes personal relationships quite difficult. Blocking your heart, your trust, and being uncomfortable is a safe thing, not an easy one. I wish there were some way to find answers for what our intended roles were. Monogamy? Polygamy? Hetero/Homo sexuality? What, if any of these are the correct way to live your life. Of course the simple answer is to find something that works for you. Surely in a planet of 6 billion individuals you can find at least one person with whom you share a common ideology. The trouble is that in a world where we seldom make real friends outside of our zip code, finding this person is something similar to finding mall parking on Black Friday. We must therefore make compromises to make the situation work for us.

As I see it, finding someone with whom you can fight life's battles is the most important thing. A diad is an incredibly strong thing. Someone having your back is the key to human success. There are many times a parent won't do simple things for personal gain, but watch what actions they can do in the name of a child. Lovers traditionally pledge to serve one another until death do them apart. My favorite scene in any one movie is the one in Good Will Hunting. Robin Williams is explaining to Matt Damon that though his wife is dead, he remains unmarried...Because his "Wife is dead" The career comedian delivers these lines with such force that you don't doubt for one second he speaks of an actual lost love.

This picture I've described of monogamous, deep, everlasting love, is a tenuous one indeed. The same power this love brings, the power to send Mothers into burning buildings after children and Husbands into the ocean after drowning wives is the very same power that left Williams' character in a state on mental paralysis. His love was so great that when he lost his wife, she took with her part of his functionality. This love, is a wonderous thing, but when the trust is betrayed it can do irreparable damage. Crimes of passion are some of the hardest to predict, but easiest to understand.

So it begs the question is it a misguided idea to even attempt such relationships? If engaging in this kind of love opens a pandoras box of emotion and power the likes of which few of us are prepared to wield...then perhaps we should refrain. I could talk about the power love brings and what the right and wrong ways to use it are, but in the end when Love compels you to fly around the world just to see one you love for a moment, no one questions it. So when Love compels you to do something of equal magnitude in what can be seen as a destructive manner, then I won't be one to question those acts either.

As they say, "All is fair in Love & War". You may disagree, but I assure you...I'm not talking to you.