That is what she said

So this is a hypothetical I want you all to play along with. It was posed to me as part of a homework assignment and I find it kind of an interesting take on a tricky situation. You might have heard it before and I’m adjusting it slightly to make it fit the WB&C just a bit better, but the story is still the same.

So in this scenario you are a person living on earth and things there are just as they are now here. You are just like everyone else, no better no worse. You happen to be single and your job allows you to support yourself, so for all intents and purposes you are part of the nameless faceless crowd that make up our metropolitan areas. In this world however there is an international star of some sort. Lets say this person is regarded like a Perez Hilton mixed with Michael Jordan. Everyone loves them, everyone wants to be their best friend. Basically in my mind (because I am a geek) this person figures out how to solve our solid fuel propellant problem and allows NASA to get to Mars with only 2,000 lbs of fuel. (usually it’s 500,000+ lbs)

They are of course rich, as their idea turns them instantly into a one person OPEC, they are charismatic, so they are like Tony Stark in that you see them as the face of their company and they must of course be good looking. It all boils down to Conan O’Brien’s personality and fame mixed with Richard Branson’s money and daredevil lifestyle with the looks of the sexually appropriate person of your choice. In my mind and for the rest of the story this person will look exactly like 1998 Salma Hayek.

Now here is the story. You are walking around one day and you happen to hear that Salma, this wonderful person whom everyone knows and loves is sick with some incurable disease. A group of especially crazed fans begin to scour the country looking for a cure stopping at nothing to find out what it is. As it happens you are the only person on earth whose blood has the antibodies to combat the illness though you don’t know it. And how anyone else knows it is unimportant but what is important is that on your walk home from work as the manager at the local Popeye’s chicken you are taken and knocked unconscious. Somehow this deranged group of super fans, intent on keeping their beloved alive, have taken you and when you wake up you realize you’ve been hooked up to Salma via some system of tubes and wires. The doctors apologize profusely and assure you that the people who did this to you have been arrested and are facing life in prison because their attempt to kill you was stopped short but not before they could connect you to Salma.

After you gather your senses and calm down from obvious anger you are posed with two options by the doctor. Unplug yourself immediately and walk away. Allowing Salma to die or maintain attached to her until such time they can produce a treatment, which could take months. They reiterate that it is completely up to you and there is nothing keeping you from pulling the plug on her but they also stress that without you she will die assuredly. What makes this scenario interesting is that you yourself agree that she is a much more important person than you. Her work has brought new discoveries to mankind. Men love her, women want to be her, she is a truly great individual and you are just a fast food joint manager. Salma is asleep and you haven't been able to speak with her since you woke up but you are told she is doing better already.

So…what do you do?

Prince-I would Die 4 U

Would it make a difference if you knew exactly how long it would take to find a treatment?

I don't know anyone personally who I think would disagree that getting up and unplugging yourself is an a good option but what if it was a trade though, your life for theirs? Maybe you get hooked up with a slice of the good life from this, maybe you get stiffed on the tip? I also made the story a little different in that this is a person who you may look up to and or be attracted to. The original author is named Judith Jarvis Thomson. What she was attempting to do was make an argument for the defense of Abortion. When I first read the Plugged in Violinist my instinct was to say screw it, I'm not chaining myself to someone against my will even if it is only for 9 months. This was mainly because I don't care about Violinists. But by making it someone I'd look up to like Leland Melvin, Kanye, etc there is an added layer of conflict. Also respecting the contribution this person has to society is something that cannot be discounted. I would love to actually see what people think about this. Comments ARE enabled so feel free to tell me how you would handle such a situation. As far as I'm concerned this is a flawed allegory for pregnancy because pregnant women don't have their uteri kidnapped and impregnated. Usually it is the result of some sort of bedroom, bathroom or backseat type activities that involve both her and at least one other male of her own species. It is no miracle how babies happen, so the whole kidnapped and woke up with some unwanted visitor line just isn't cutting it for me. I still don't know exactly what would happen to Salma if it were me she was hooked up to and the picture at the top of this post has only a tangential relation to my actual feelings so make of it what you will.

"I paid for them titties get ya OWN"

It used to be I could walk up to the window the day of the show and grab a ticket on my way in. Tix’ at Will Call? Don’t worry about the matching credit card, an I.D. is more than enough, hell just know the name the tickets are under and walk away with a coke and a smile. This week I was hyped to see some live music for the first time in a while. I’ve always loved live shows since I saw Gnarls Barkley for the first time back in 2005. It just so happens I’ve seen more of them as a single guy than while I was dating but that is just the way things go, nothing more to it. (I make the point only because I tend to go on tears where I will see a lot of shows in a row and then none for a while. The tears always coinciding with me being single randomly.) I’ve missed some good shows and I’ve been to some better ones, but this past week was shaping up to be one for the record books. The last time I went on a real tear with shows I was going to see established artists that I knew I’d love and wouldn’t miss for the world. I remember getting to my first M.I.A. show and literally grabbing the rails around my date so we could keep our spot right in front of the Roseland. This time around I was conflicted to begin with because of the three shows all conveniently scheduled on one night, I was at the one I thought was a safe bet, but not exactly the one I was most excited for. All month leading up to this past Monday I would torture myself by picking one show to see knowing there was no way to see them all and then suffer the excruciating torment as songs from the other two groups would pop up in my playlist. So as it was, in my standard fashion I bought tickets roughly 18 hours or so before show time and planned an impromptu trip that had been 6 weeks in the making.

This guy had the right idea. Kinda B.A. if you ask me. I should have done this.

To be honest I like that the shows I go to are sold out. I feel bad if someone I really like isn’t getting the respect they deserve, but at the same time when I can’t grab a ticket because scalpers from OTHER STATES buy up all the tickets just to resell them, then that really irks me. You don’t see me buying up Lady Gaga tickets just to go resell them to people for more. I don’t believe in profiting off of someone else’s talent like that….however I want you to know that given the opportunity to buy ALL the tickets to one of her shows and then keep them to myself. I definitely would do that. I would of course not attend, but I think distributing the tickets to random vagrants on the street might be cool. I’d also give a ticket to anyone I thought might be inclined to boo, but that’s just me. This is also why I can’t have money. I would absolutely do bad things with it, we should all be glad things aren’t worse. I’m starting to really see where Donald Trump is going with this.

Digressions aside the show was of course amazing as I said, but what I don’t like is that everyone’s taste in music is suddenly becoming mine. I’ve been here people!! I was listening to M.I.A. and Diplo because of Hollertronix, whom no one has ever heard of. 2004 was the year I graduated high school, and by ’05 I was elbows deep into “Piracy Funds Terrorism”. I cannot in the least bit be surprised these acts have taken off. I love these acts for a reason and there are probably 50,000 people with the same story as me about bands of their own so yea I’m spitting in the wind a little bit here. It's all good though, i'm in it for the long run and pretty soon these acts are gonna be people younger than me so I will enjoy the long careers our contemporary artists for as long as I can.

In hindsight should have done this too.

"I'll blame this one on the recession"

I've made some friends through all this Bloggery I've been doing and happened to impart the details linked to most of my relationship related posts. I've been trying to put the issue to rest but sometimes you need to stand by your failures to recognize your success. I know I'm not well versed in the rules that apply to this life, the "Rules of the game" if you will. I learned at a late age not to believe my eyes more than my ears, learning the difference between rules and reality still irks me at times, and I often wonder how long I would have lasted on the island in "Lord of the Flies"? So for me the discussion is always more an inquiry on a topic than dwelling on a sad story. At any rate I got an email this morning of some comments made, I guess about me and my lack of understanding for "real world" nuance. Like, "if she's not getting it from you, she'll get it somewhere else", "shit or get off the pot", "Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear", all adages I have heard but never really incorporated into my mindset. (I still really don't think i can?)

So this is what one of my compadres and their friends came up with as a way to sate my anger one night apparently.

"Dude don't worry, you had her in her prime."

"It's your fault, your game's not tight enough"

"She's not going to age well, it's down hill from here."

"You get what you pay for"

"They weighed the same? Does that make him a waif or her a whale?"

"If it's meant to be, it would have been."

"Don't worry there's always J-date or eHarmony"

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"

"In about 5 years when gravity takes over, you'll look back and be glad this happened"

"Be glad this happened before you had kids"

"You're to young to settle down"

Though I don't believe all of this, and I have no idea who said what, it all makes me laugh. Especially the one about my game being weak thanks for that!

I want to hear some more funny sayings. Leave some in the comments if you think of anything.

Bring 'em Home

The Yankees signed Marcus Thames this month to a minor league deal. It's a return home for the 1996 draftee. He is one of 80 players to hit a HR in his first AB. All I know about him besides that is that he's there because they decided to let Johnny D, and his awesome stroke to right field walk and he's named after a british river. But if Johnny had to go I'm ok with it if this is the result. We all know Mr. Damon is happier when he doesn't have to shave, and more importantly it means a roster spot for another Black player in the MLB. There has been a sharp decline in participation by African American youth is baseball over the past few decades as the likes of Ozzie Smith and Dave Winfield have faded into the background. Economics coupled with a lack of good role models is what I think is at the heart of this issue. I myself came to love the sport in a backwards way.

My father openly lobbied against it. Many many times I heard that baseball players were all fat and slow. With only 8.4% of current players fitting the Black/Non-Hispanic definition I couldn't very well pick a name off the top of my head to contradict this point, though now Torri Hunter, Carl Crawford, Jermaine Dye, Dontrelle Willis, The Uptons, and of course CC, come to mind without much thought. The problem is that I can name the teams these fellas play for but I feel that even among baseball fans I may be in the minority (no puns). And if a fan could name the team I'm sure it has more to do with the fact they stand out amongst their teamates than because they're actually big named stars.

Major League Baseball is aware of this and has implemented the RBI program which is aimed at Restoring Baseball in Inner cities. A big problem with baseball in inner cities is the lack of viable fields on which to play. With little in the way of role models on top of that, there is almost no drive to get kids to seek out such places. The founder of this program discovered that kids tend to quit baseball right between the ages of 13-16. (It will become obvious why a little further down.) Sponsors, fields, and lack of organization aren't even the first obstacles they will face, as even the youth who do play baseball are dissuaded come high school athletics. College football teams carry 85 full scholarships. Often this is broken up so that 80 or so guys can have a full ride, while 10 or so guys still share a split of some sort. No other sport comes even close to providing that many opportunities. Baseball and basketball combined don't carry 35 let alone 85 scholarshipped athletes.

The question comes down to this. If you are a talented 13 year old who is starting his or her freshman year of highschool and you can only play one sport because of time and financial concerns...which do you pick. A college basketball team seems like good choice but baseball allows you to go to school AND get paid. Also top flight baseball prospects rarely see the inside of lecture halls and head straight to the minors for a cash bonus up front. Good basketball players more and more are heading to the NBA at a faster rate so the turnover of roster spots is much higher at some elite schools. Yet football has so many roster spots that it seems almost ludicrous to take a risk putting all your eggs into one basket with one of the other two big sports.

As games go, an intense baseball game is far more exciting than any other in my opinion. The slow pace is more of a suspenseful linger in my opinion but that is neither here nor there. It is my hope that one day I can make a fortune in whatever turns out to be my calling and help support programs like RBI. Time will tell whether or not CC Sabathia being the Ace of a World Champion staff will lead to higher sustained participation. In the mean time we need to find a way to co-opt this guy more for his membership in the culture. It's guys like that who kept me interested in the game and gave me someone to root for both on the field and off.

Pitchers and catcher reported last wednesday. Lets hope CC does it again! Last year he was not only the only black player in the bullpen but also the ONLY black player on the team...Unless you count Jete' and midseason acquisition Jerry Hairston who together combine for one more. Shouts to my man Jason Mayden at Brand Jordan for keeping CC laced in the flyest of the fly. Octavio Lubrano and DJ keep coming with the heat!

Defend her Honor

This man is a true Hero. Givin' us youngin's a model to follow. Shout's to all my girls out there riding the proverbial trapeze between relationships, waiting on the next one before letting go of the last, and peace to all my ladies with the mad daddy issues. Goodness gracious I've seen enough of that for one lifetime.