This Shit right here

Look I'm sorry...I know I told you I was going to come with new inspiration and new subject matter but tonight happened first. I actually want to talk about race in a positive way. My goal is to make race like any other topic of discussion. It's a taboo subject that no one can speak on comfortably and those that do speak comfortably, usually do so poorly and in a manner that make you wish they wouldn't. Alas tonight brings about a cherished moment in which someone stumbles upon the topic clumsily at an extremely inopportune time. If you're unfamiliar with slurs being thrown at you then imagine being deathly allergic to bee stings and every few weeks or so someone either purposely or incidentally calls you the N word. It's feels something similar to that. What gets me the most is how casual people can be about it. It's amazing to me how easily some folks will allow themselves to just speak out of pocket. I've said it before and I'll say it again but I've lived in a place now for almost 6 years where on many an occasion I am the first of my kind someone else has ever interacted with and so in many ways I've lived 6 years as nearly an Alien. Different than a foreigner or someone of a different gender. Even on a continent where people look a lot more like me than anywhere else I am still different. People are no longer parading down a street dressed in garb specifically meant to signify their hate (not in lage number at least...well not all the time at least..at least not where I live..I hope) but the mentality is still there. "I think this and regardless of how that may make you feel I am going to carry on because to be honest I have no idea how you might feel and don't care to even guess." The title picture speaks volumes to me. Imagine walking down a street and passing a large group of people who wore clothes or some other way made it known VERY clearly that if they weren't busy going to the movies or just happened to catch the inclination they would kidnap and kill you without any provocation quite readily. YOU. READER. ARE SOON TO BE SNATCHED AND MURDERED. Why? Simply because someone else wants you gone. To pass that group by and just carry on with your day is crazy to me. What a mind fuck.

I think there have only been two occasions in my adult life in which someone proceeded to call me or refer to me as the N-word. The first time shouldn't have been that much of a surprise since my friends first comment about her initial trip to my house was shock at the lack of a specific smell and then later telling me she had a had a distinct personal distaste for black girls. Surely she'd forgotten whom my mother and grandmothers grew up as. But it was an honest mistake I am certain. Her friends and family probably share similar sentiments and within her circle of friends it is more than acceptable to speak like that. This girl tonight (guys seems to be more thoughtful around me?) I am less familiar with but what happened I am all too familiar with. I don't accidentally refer to my gay friends as fags or even tell them to stop being gay when they don't want to do things I ask them to. And for the most part Gay-ness isn't a visible trait...My Blackness however I like to think is. So as this person I'd never met before handed me a ping pong ball she said, "Here ya go Nigga..oh wait that might be offensive to you huh?"

What to do, what to do..? What would you have done? What is to be done? Why are we doing anything? Unfortunately I am accustomed with this stream of thought. The options are wide and varied, but in something I think abuse victims are fully familiar with, the prevailing interest at just that moment is mostly "Make this end ASAP" I don't want to defend my honor, or set people straight. I'm never out to cause a scene. To me what matters is making it stop because all other options seem longer and more painful even if the end result is better. It is never really awkward however. I always feel like whatever I do will be the right choice because it will be justified. Awkward is watching people who I know and like try to deal with the situation around me. Singing song lyrics, reciting raps, just telling jokes...people find themselves on radio edit mode and the pauses are filled with tension and pain. Most times I just laugh because it is like some unspoken agreement that if I left the room just then things would go on explicitly but as a courtesy to me I'll be spared.

The worst for me though, is hearing someone I actually like, talk out of their ass. I've heard again and again that most comedians aren't racist because they are equal opportunity offenders. This from a woman who's husband is Latino. I wish just once I'd dared to ask her if calling me a Nigger would be okay as long as she called him a Spic? No Melissa that logic doesn't follow. I dunno what people think but this all just shows me that my life's work is laid out for me and there's nothing left but to do it. I can't count the number of times now I've been pushed to write on a topic ahead of schedule with something already in the works and here we are again. I'll soon have the full diatribe up but for now just know that if you are a friend of mine your speech will be as free of racial slurs as mine is and that when you are reciting text, lyrics, or movies, it is up to you what form it takes coming out of your mouth, but I will never find issue with the repetition of copyrighted material. It's not my place to tell you what bears repeating or not. I hate writing these. I'm going to do a Blog-cation where I only post pictures, videos, and write about things I saw on TV for two weeks. I'm starting to depress myself.

We Are Rockstars by Jt-Rex

Fulfill your duties young man

Some nights provide stories that don't need to be written. Mainly because they're all stories in the end. This one may happen to contain streaking at 3 AM after closing down the bar, or a mother in full cougar mode at a party after a few drinks, or perhaps best of all Sir CockBlockington III of Cockblockshire; who told me in plain english come nights end that he was staying with me because I was the only person left whom he knew. But so what, it's still just a story about a night. The night also included me getting the most legit ride home ever midway through my walk across town which does deserve some pub' so shouts to my girl Holly and the Oregon Taxi co.

Tonight was definitely a good night so don't get me wrong when I say it's nothing to write about. It was just nothing out of the ordinary. If anything it was as much like anything I've ever done as any night in my life...except for the streaking...yea that set it apart but that's a different story altogether. Speaking of things staying the same I have given up sleep for lent. It is neither Lent nor am I Catholic but what I do want to do is stop sleeping. I get a lot more done and though my daylight hours tend to drag at the end of a 40 hour pull or near the end of a week in which I've only accrued 20-25 hours of sleep, I still find it preferable. I also did most of my sleeping post coitus as a monogamous man but lately I don't see that as the end of my night. This night went well though I feel bad for leaving Sir Cockblockington at some random house party. Though then again not really. He and the tool bags at the door deserve each other. Oh by the way...I graduated today.

Gimme the night

it's an honor and a privelege

The world cup is soon upon us. I absolutely love soccer and the world cup in particular. The Olympics are cheesy, over produced, and mostly composed of sports and people you've never heard of. Unless I'm in the Olympic Village, partaking in the true "Games" I really have no interest in most of what goes on. There are just two teensie, tiny, little, problems that exists for me here.

1) I have no one to root for.

2) Soccer doesn't love me back.

My soccer career was short lived to say the least but the sport captured my imagination and every time I would pick up a new game I'd still look back on soccer with reverence. The reason I have no one to root for is because American soccer is by and large shitty. "100% Rat Ass" as they say. The ODP program in the states is meant to glean the best talent we have and turn it into the future of soccer here. Like most national programs in any country this one is by all accounts corrupt and largely useless. What we need is for all of our best talent to FIRST stop playing baseballbasketballfootballhockeyortrack and then we can talk about soccer. Right now simple market forces draw any talented young man into team sports like football and basketball because they have proven to be great ways for some kids to get to go to college for free. Soccer is the opposite. It takes a lot of time and money to support a burgeoning soccer star and even with success the payoff is minimal in comparison. I'm shocked even $250 million was enough to lure David Beckham stateside. If I was the British Michael Jordan of soccer I'd be DAMNED if I was going to sully my good name for less than a Billie.

Anyway American soccer in my eyes is cool except the star player is Landon fucking Donovan, the poster boy for entitled, boring, $50,000 a year HIGHSCHOOL soccer. I can't root for that. Clint I-Grew-Up-In-A-Trashcan Dempsey I can root for but Landon Timothy Donovan...? Naw man, cain't do it..that's right I caIn't.

The other issue, is one I can never seem to get away from. It is after all Happy Black Girl day and though I haven't even scratched the surface of my thoughts on race, this story works out perfectly for the occasion. There have been oodles of new posts popping up across the Net talking about the World Cup and trying to sell it. This one in particular caught my eye for obvious reasons, but it wasn't until I was done reading all the way through it that I realized why it was so eye catching. Now the title DOES say 7 women, 7 titles. But when there is that much pootie-tang staring me in the face I am even less want to read than I already am. So I perused the pages of the post linked above and finally got to the last page.

Perhaps the most gorgeous woman I've seen ever let alone the most gorgeous of the 7 was there staring me in the face alone...all by herself. Now I understand that there are those who could contend they were saving the best for last or that this was simply a matter of mathematics but I've seen plenty of ad campaigns and this is clear.

EVERYTHING in an ad campaign is planned out. You'll notice in the group shots Charlene is the only one who doesn't really overlap. (Read: crops out easily) She also happens to be one of only 4 women that represents a country whose won the cup in the last 50 years. So how is it she is a perfect pair for contemporary champs but gets left out of the greater display? I mentioned to start that this was a well thought out ad campaign and maybe now you're thinking it's simple matching. "She happens to be the only dark skinned women and so to match her up with a girl who looked so different might have thrown of the look of the shoot." Yea thats possible but why is that important? These girls are just eye candy we can drape jerseys and socks over. How they look should really be secondary and to be honest I'd be more concerned with the jerseys clashing than their hair or skin. Calling out racism is hard because it is so ingrained in the way we do things here on Earth that people can look right at it and not see it for what it is. It's sad really and the malice here is of the most benign sort. I'm sure the models were all treated equally well and they all had fun supporting their men and countries. What does suck is that someone at the back end of the process thought it to be more profitable to downplay the appearance of this one girl in particular because for some reason seeing an unimaginably beautiful woman who is a bit darker than your average European apparently might turn people away.

I'll make it easy on you, what a disaster

No school for me today. Just wasn't up to it. I thought a lot about Michaela last night and her mom. It sucks to say and I feel wrong for saying it but I really do miss the hospital sometimes. There are plenty of people who would obviously love to trade with me so I don't for a second forget how lucky we all are to be on this side of the hospital doors. All this has also made me soften my stance. I don't think it ever got written here, maybe it did? But when I'm in the position to go back I really do want to go and see patients in the hospital. It is a shitty circumstance and if seeing me is any sort of consolation then I'm all for it. I don't know what Bill Sears is up to but I will be at UCLA to see Chris and everyone first thing saturday morning. I don't think I ever shouted out Rhodora which is a shame because she is one of my most favorite earthlings ever. You would be hard pressed to find a better person than her. Shouts to my man Newman while I'm at it.

I've seen this pose before, seems to be a female favorite?

Like I said graduation is right around the corner so the flights and hotel room are booked and P-Unit infiltration to my land of solace is exactly 30 days away.

There usually isn't any thing political going on here and for good reason. I don't like to run my yap on things that a) I don't know anything about b) seem mostly unimportant or c) aren't that exciting. But this is an instance where even in violation of rules B and C I have to speak on the matter. I was going to post a video from CNN featuring the dynamic AC360 but it's a big file that I didn't wanna sit around waiting to upload. Point is this. Some idiot whose name I will not even bother to go lookup is both a Doctor and an officer in the military. In what must have been his attempt to further prove to me, no matter what educational accolades you receive, you can still be a Dumbass, he decided to ignore his orders to return to war because he thinks President Obama is not actually an American.

What the Fuck is wrong with people. There's a rant inside me that I won't type out but just imagine the expletives landing like rain on a windshield and you'll get the picture. Part of me is upset that he is not deploying to Afghanistan. This feels like an overwrought plot to skip out on a trip back to the middle east and that along with this obviously blatant attack on the president for no reason really anger me. This punk ass looks the part too. He sat up on AC360 looking like the type of guy who would snitch you out in two seconds flat. Take it from me, I was raised a skittish, unassuming, weakling and only through experience did I learn to stand up and be a better person, so I can still spot someone with no heart from a mile away. The look in someone's eyes when they will sell you out for no reason at all is pretty apparent and this dude has it. I was livid to hear his argument but then when he popped up on CNN with a lawyer in tow who ended up doing all the talking for him I knew this was a gutless bastard the likes of which we've never seen before. If you truly were trying to take a stand for yourself and what you believed in, risking jail, professional ruin, and shame, you wouldn't let that ride on a lawyers lips. You would be marching hard trying to get the word out. This fool sat there and didn't say shit. He didn't even look like he wanted to...I'm just gonna take 5 seconds and *woosah*

Okay, I'm back. And the only thing that seems to make sense anymore is astrology. I love to make real life choices based on the power of the Zodiac because unlike actual religion there are no rules and as an added bonus it actually has some real life applications. Take 'Alex' for example. She was born on the last day of her sign just like i was so I know that though I could use the one set of dates most people would to figure things out, this one will be more useful.

That being said I don't feel beholden to this particularly dreary prediciton. Perhaps I am just still caught up in, "the powerful initial attraction" phase of things, but even still I get to laugh at ridiculous phrases like that. I've got enough self imposed rules of my own so getting to bend and break these really make things a lot easier for me to get behind. Besides if there is a single lesson I've learned it's that...

The Black Keys

What The fuck is wrong with me

I truly suck at life. I definitely proclaimed this week to be the week of hate. And not only do I have my Hate posts ready to go but they are filed and ready...for the wrong week. I often write things and then schedule them to post at a later date but since I apparently cannot read a calendar they've been set for the wrong week. I will again have to make those of you who are waiting continue to do just that. This by the way is the problem the POTUS is having at the moment. When you give people specific deadlines for your tasks they expect you to be done by then even if you can't deliver and never would have expected you to in the first place. I'm less than pleased but again I apologize. Tomorrow is hump day as the giggly girl at the rec center informed me. Do you think she was hinting at something?

i have a surplus of this stuff

Tell your friends, Hate week will be back soon. Next week, May 3rd. All new, right here @ the WB&C.

James Blake - CMYK by Funkism Soundcloud

And my first Begotten son shall be called...Bovice

I wrote earlier this year about forgiveness. I found myself in a position where forgiveness became some sort of situational currency. To be able to forgive someone, they have to first infringe upon your rights somehow and to a lesser extent also recognize that they’ve wronged you. I could kill your dog because it won’t stop barking late at night, but if I don’t find that to be an incredibly horrible thing, then your forgiveness not only isn’t likely to be forthcoming, but I’ll have no use for it because I don’t see anything wrong with what I’ve done. That realization right there spells out the point, that forgiveness is an especially human thing. Prayer in some religions is said to be the means of asking Holy absolution for ill deeds but that clemency is more highly regarded because it is believed the dispenser is…well…God. If the big guy lets you off the hook then not only do you avoid eternal damnation but you take it seriously because you trust his judgment. Humans however…we’re a far less reasonable bunch. I feel like on balance there are more people forgiven that shouldn’t be than people not forgiven who should be so that’s good. But the reasons for people’s decision making is often far less principled than perhaps the creator or your run of the mill, average Lord and Savior.

So we have to recognize, and I say we meaning me but if you’re smart then you too; that forgiveness might be the least important thing ever created. Can you imagine if you did work but sometimes less than you expected came or none at all? Conversely sometimes you did nothing and a check came in the mail anyway just because you said you worked? This is basically the way forgiveness is dispensed on the individual level and so I put little value into it and I think we all should. In the end when you do something wrong and you truly feel remorse then you should know you’re probably forgiven by those that matter, and when you are wronged yet you can’t find it in yourself to let go, then you need to know you’re holding no power over anyone but yourself. I think as far as I’m concerned I learned that I’m incapable of real forgiveness at least in any sort of timely manner and that it is largely dependant on me feeling okay with a situation. Some things are just unforgivable and in the words of Michael Corleone; “Mistakes can be forgiven, but I’d kill my own brother for betraying the family.”

It's time

Tell your friends, Hate week is back. First week of May. All right here @ the WB&C.

I miss you all the time

I don't like assholes...no really like visible anus' annoy me. But the two I live with make me miss Waffles like the dickens. These two cats I live with now are nothing like her and I truly loathe and detest them. And what makes them the worst is that they have some sense of entitlement to everything. They try to sit on your lap and when you shoo them away they will force themselves on you. I however am not one to be bullied and so after many failed attempts Vince and/or drama always make it a point to stand facing away from you with tail held high, looking for someone else to bother. I'm not so naive as to think they don't know I'm now getting a full view of their butt hole. In the cat version of flipping the bird it's passive aggressive and somewhat bitchy. Just like every other trait they have.

I don't hate cats, but these two really make me understand why most people do. I also can't get with the shedding. I remember having a day dream about people shedding the same way snakes do; Head to toe, and only once a month or so. This is more to do with the fact I hate the way I feel after I exfoliate, but before i use lotion but it should be a universal truth that if you shed you have to do it all at once and in an easy to clean method. Snakes>Cats

I'm going to have stop this fairly random diatribe and move on to something a bit more...Fascinating.

Welcome to Haterville

So it’s finally here the time we’ve (pronounced: I) have all been waiting for! Hating is an American tradition, like apple pie or outsourcing jobs to brown people in other countries. I want to take the next 5 days to fully research each facet of this part of the American way. It’s so uniquely ours that I think it has constitutional protection. The first Amendment gives us the right to speak freely and that means when the girl on 16 and Pregnant tells her mom to go “Fuck herself” she doesn’t have to realize what a moron she sounds like. It’s protected speech! I’m a blogger now and it just dawned on me that I can no long spout my hate speech freely. There is a strong anti-blogger sentiment among famous people. How would you like it if you busted your ass to make a living and then people just sat back and tore down your accomplishments anonymously, while you had to sit there and take it? Yea I wouldn’t care either but that’s what is great about hating. You can talk shit about how Lady Gaga is so weird but at the end of the day she still gets to climb inside her spaceship and go back to a planet we’ve never heard of and you’re still single, unemployed, and bitter. Everyone is happy! People in the public eye, call people like me, people who make criticisms from behind the computer screen, on the couch in their moms basement, Losers or more accurately Haters. Well I take issue with that, I am not on my mom’s couch…I have my own thank you very much! In all reality, I write most of this junk on my blackberry and text it to myself to format for my wonderful readers. I spend far less time on these things than any prospective victim of mine may claim. So, I’m not the classic basement level shit-talker. I’m just a regular shit-talker and so I feel confident in my diatribes. Not to mention I’m informed. I had an entire post planned for a special someone but after an hour on a bike and 3 albums later I had an entirely new take on things. So tune in this week and check out what I have in store for you guys. Peep the schedule below for highlights to watch for.

Monday- What is hating? – Hate vs Hating

Tuesday- The Hater Hall of Fame. The most hateriffic of all time ever.

Wednesday- A list of Hateful Proportions. Things I just plain Hate.

Thursday- How can you have haters if I don’t know who you are?

Friday- My #1 hate Target. Who is it? Come find out.

Hate Is not the Opposite of Love

Ask me how I feel about something and chances are I “Hate” it.

You name it, I hate it.

I hate so many things that I often refer to things I hate as things I love instead, because I just don’t want to wear out the term. Never trust anyone who says they don’t like the word hate. They’re either in denial or don’t know what hate is all about…yet. If you ask me, Hate is great! I kinda enjoy the feeling I get hating something for the first time. And there are varying degree’s of hate to enjoy as well. Like fine wine, I often find myself remarking candidly, it’s been so long since I’ve had hate like this. Yet hate isn’t all there is to talk about.

Hate and Hating, they’re two different things. Hate is, “to have a strong aversion to, or feel intense and passionate dislike towards” You can hate something without hating on it. A good rule of thumb is this: If you had the opportunity to save this thing from a fire using only battery acid (would that even work?), you still wouldn’t, that’s hate. But if you just like making rude or disparaging comments about something then you’re hating. Generally speaking Traffic is something you hate and Boy bands are something you hate on.

Lets also make one thing clear, we are all haters. At one time or another I believe it is intrinsic in us all to be haters. The coolest people I know are haters. Kids are haters, grandparents are haters, women are haters, and men can hate too. To not hate is to have an attachment so untied with society or a comfort within one’s own skin so great, that nothing anyone else does or has could bother you. It’s a level of emotional docility that few if any humans have.

I want to emphasize that hating is a verb, an action, whereas to hate is a feeling or an adjective. English doesn’t lend itself to such fine variations so forgive any confusion but always remember that often conceit can be the root cause of hating so Hating can be considered the inverse of Conceit. Would you like to know the difference between Jennifer Anniston and Courtney Cox? Well, one has haters and the other stars in Cougar Town, Wednesdays 8:30/9:30 CT on ABC! This is an important distinction because if you think there is any tangible difference between the two then you are mistaken. We all know Ms. Cox-Arquette is the less cute, brunette version of Jen, so what fun is it to hate on her? Life has already dealt her a hand not unlike our own. T.V. millions be damned, she has to go down in history as the 4th place finisher in the cute race on friends. Yes I know there were only 3 women. She’s behind Jen, Lisa Kudrow and Matt Leblanc. (It’s ok, I said it so you wouldn’t have to.)

Point is, hating on someone isn’t just a reflection of their accomplishments relevant to our own. It you hate on anyone who happens to have a better stake in life than you…then you’re bitter. So how is it that we come to hate you ask? It’s simple. Hating is an equal and opposite reaction to the amount someone has versus how much they deserve. So the first rule of hating is that you can never hate on someone for something which you don’t value. If I find out some guy is getting hooked up with an endless supply of Swedish Fish, or left handed scissors, or Maxi Pads, it’s doubtful I’ll flinch at that because those are things I have little use for and wouldn’t buy with Bill Gates’ wallet. Now alternately if I find out someone has been hired to be Kim Kardashians personal Bra and underwear shopper whose only job is to accompany her on trips to Vicki’s and help her try them on, please believe NO ONE, will ever be deserving of that job more than me. Now my natural aversion to hating will preclude me from hating out loud, but alone, in my own thoughts, I’d be hating my ass off, GUARANTEED.

Hating is fun for us. No one gets hurt and everyone goes home happy. But hating is a strange thing. There is something that compels us to look at a complete stranger and decide something about them or what they’re doing makes us dislike them enough to tell them or other people about it, even when it has no effect whatsoever. We hate all day and all night. TMZ, Radar Online, and even Twitter are all mechanisms we use to hate on the rich or simply famous. Part of it is access I’m sure. In this Internet era we live in, there are many opportunities to make known what grievances we wish to redress and with which Celebs we take issue. Can you imagine trying to hate on Eddie Murphy in the 80’s? How on earth would you ever start? Short of buying a billboard across from his hotel when he stopped in your city on his world tour; or spreading some rumor to the news about how leather body suits were causing AIDS breakouts; there was almost no tangible way to tell him or anyone but your hairdresser/barber how much he annoyed you. Perhaps it’s just coincidence that he started doing Dr. Doolittle around the same time the internet became a viable communication tool. Because those movies suck and we ALL know about it even though we’ve probably never seen one.

So let us recap. Hate and Hating are two different things, you can’t hate on anyone for something you don’t care about, and hate is often the response to someone getting to full of themselves. I try not to hate but I understand we all get salty from time to time. Whether it’s that cute chick with the fugly boyfriend, or the dumb girl in school with the brand new Benz, we all have a part of us who knows we are just a bit more deserving of something someone else has and won’t let us get over it

There are many things I do not hate. There are few things I all out love. Each day I want to leave you on a positive note so I will give you one thing I truly do not hate.

Today’s entry in the things I love column is...

Jeggings

I thought I'd start off nice and easy with an obvious choice. The close relative of yoga pants, spandies, and tights. Jeggings are for the girl who just Must have pockets but can't bear to deprive mine eyes. Thank you Jeggings, job well done.

Hate Week 2010

Tomorrow marks my first ever Hate week! It's like shark week but better because Shark week is played out now anyway...oops It's starting already. Come find out if you're a hater, what I really just can't stand, and the person, place, or thing I hate more than anything else.

Jay-Z Hate ft. Kanye West by chozen

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

I hope my last few posts have been coherent. I used to write only once a week or so, and everything was thought out before I put it to paper. Nowadays, I get half an idea of what it is I want to say, and I’m already typing it into my blackberry as a note to self. I want to take a moment to welcome my new readers. You may already know but in case you don’t Google and Blogger allow me to see who reads my blog when and how often. How long you stay and whether or not you go leave directly from my page to go to another. I’m not sure of it’s accuracy but it’s broken down by city and browser so it appears most of you like me are staring at a Macintosh screen right now on either Safari or Chrome. In this warrantless wiretap era I’m sure someone may find this bothersome but trust me, I have no plans to sell this information or use it in any way so if this is you, relax. One thing that does interest me is finding out where my readers come from. I know some of you but not all of you. Obviously most of you are from Oregon and California but I’d like to welcome my Australian and UK readers as well. Hujambo! Besides, here I am telling most every detail of my fully uninteresting life and all I get to see are dots on a map.

Thank you all so much for reading even though you are the shyest, non commenting, no discussion having, ghost whispering, *anyonethere* ?, mickey fickeys EVER. This blog is a lot like me, Clean cut, sharp lines, lots of color, and plain rude.

Hello to London, Shelby County, Scranton, South Gate, Tualatin, Mill Valley, Northridge, Atlanta, Kalispell, Melbourne, and of course Long Beach/Signal Hill (M.S.G. I see you!) I don’t have a goal to spread this blog worldwide or anything. I’ve already talked about my lack of means and motive to market myself, I’ll just be happy if I have one reader, but since I don’t read any of my own stuff after I write it, It is up to you guys to make sure I don’t drop below that incredibly uninspired benchmark.

The title picture is STS-130 in orbit after the last spacewalk. A cupola was attached to the back of the space station so they could see earth. My question is why wasn't this a stock feature on the roughly $70 Billion dollar party favor? You mean to tell me you put a friggin' space station up there and it DIDN'T have an Earth facing view? What the fuck are you talking about NASA? By the way it cost's about $40 Million just to launch a shuttle mission so we basically spent that much just to install a sun roof in something that should have already had it. No wonder they're shutting down N.A.S.A. The good news is that the Tranquility Node (that silver thing on the left) is up there so Stephen C.O.L.B.E.R.T. is finally in space..or back where he came from.

Next week is going to be “Hate week” here at the WB & C. Sponsored by Silky Johnson, Bill O’Reilly and Curt Schilling. I’m going to do a post a day about the existence of Hate and what I think about it. I’m a bit of an expert on hating things so allow me to try my hand at breaking down the dialogue surrounding this debate.

What's in the News?

I don’t know how to stop being angry. For my whole life I’ve always been caught up on the difference between right and wrong. But as a kid I had little or no ownership of anything so seldom did I personally have to confront the emotions that unjust acts wrought. As an adult, things are quite different; I’m in a constant state of trying to detach my personal feelings from situations in hopes that I can keep my blood pressure down. The other tough thing is that when I fail to keep myself from feeling some personal offense by acts whether directed at me or not, I still have the secondary task of preventing myself from taking any action. Action, action, action…I can only compare my struggle to having hold of a brick and life being a constant stream windows adorned with Palin 2012 stickers (If that happens then the Mayans were spot on I say). It’s as if this world is begging me to introduce a brick to its forehead. The guys behind me in Con Law who won’t shut up every class, or the lady in front of me who refuses to drive more than 34 mph in a 35 mph zone, and then of course there’s my family...my lovely family. Indifference is no fun yet everyone seems to preach it. Live a good life and do better. Take the high road. Turn the other cheek- What a bunch of CRAP.

All these suggestions deny one simple truth, Happiness and the pursuit therein is of major concern for most every man woman and child on this Earth. And happiness for us sometimes is the direction we were looking. Turning my cheek means I must find a secondary happiness in this new direction I’ve been told to look. The high road is out of my way sometimes. And maybe, just maybe, I was already living well. I hate that there isn’t advice that doesn’t preclude me from enjoying the happiness I had settled upon before any disruption occured. Where’s the prophet saying, “Stand up for yourself”, “If someone comes between you and happiness, knock them out of the way”, or “there’s no bad time for a beatdown!” (I guess you could say Michael Wilbon is that man) I know many people say taking out your anger won’t make you happier, or two wrongs don’t equal a right, but who said anything about right? I just want reasonable. I mean if we can recognize that someone’s actions are harmful to another, then what’s right has already been cast aside. That victim was in hot pursuit of happiness I’m sure but now some other actor has come and prevented that, perhaps irreparably. So now you’d ask this victim to remain in support of what is “right”. What nonsense. All this I feel has been beautifully illustrated by last weeks series of Tonight Show episodes hosted by Mr. Conan O’Brien.

For those of us who’ve been paying any attention to the late night drama that is unfolding before us then you may well know that Conan O’Brien, this generations late night TV host of note, is being forced out of his spot at NBC. The story regarding Conan and how he got this spot in the first place won’t be rehashed here, but suffice it to say, he was promised his shot at hosting the Tonight Show 5 years ago and within months of taking the helm, he has been materially forced out. The reason that there is an argument is because Conan has ratings far below that of his predecessor (and successor?) Jay Leno. Leno however took over on the heels of Johnny Carson and used that wave of momentum to build a fan base, known today as “my parents”. Conan has the appeal the future late night viewing audience wants and is roundly hated by most people older than 35, yet the only reason Leno has higher ratings is because he has had decades to build up a viewer ship. Moreover people in my generation don’t even really know the value of good late night TV mainly because the likes of Jay Leno have killed what was once a storied franchise. We don’t have nearly the same interest in it as people who were able to see the program in its heyday.

I’m going to contradict a future post of mine and for one second briefly mention that in 2004 when Conan signed on to be the successor to the Tonight Show he was given a raise of nearly $4 Million USD…per year. So to feel bad for a man making $8 Million bucks a year is hard to do, but trust me if ever there was an instance, it is this. Perhaps the most devastating negotiating tactic of all in this mess is that amid massive losses in revenue, and lagging in the ratings, NBC has sacrificed its own reputation just to reap the higher ratings. SNL, Late Night, and really anyone on NBC who can boost their ratings by making light of the situation are being allowed to. Why else would they invite ABC funny man Jimmy Kimmel onto Leno’s own 10 @ 10 to then eviscerate him to his face? Notice also that the proposed move of the Tonight Show to 12:05 hardly raised an eyebrow. Where NFL and MLB purists decreed the movement of their championship matches later into the year, there seem to be no late night TV fans that are upset with NBC for even thinking of moving the show. NBC has no shame it seems and the $35 Million or so they will most likely pay Conan and his staff is a pittance compared to the reported $60 million they would have owed him simply to just leave before any of this started 7 months ago. As many very intelligent people have pointed out, NBC exec Jeff Zucker seems to be making a short sighted move as Leno is nearing his 60^th birthday. What will become of the Tonight Show when he does step down? Will he “Bret Favre” the situation and torment us all with a protracted standoff?

It's Official

Even those within the industry are known to dislike Leno for a variety of reasons. Most of Conan’s fans aren’t even home at 11:30 PM on weeknights, and if they are, the likelihood that they’re in some sort of pre or post coital fog is highly likely. His problem with ratings has more to do with lack of appeal to middle aged Midwesterners and his high brow comedy, than lack of talent. Nevertheless the story here is more about Conan and his options than what caused him to be in this situation. There is some conspiracy about whether he was simply fast tracked, presuming he would fail, just to avoid the payout. True or not, and no matter that original amount, Conan today is now set to be $35 Million richer. (the actual number depends on how long he stays off the air reportedly.) Not bad for a days work. The monologues Conan has been delivering however are masterful. He is blatantly ripping NBC, his bosses, and Leno all on company time. And what’s best about all this is that NBC is continuing to broadcast him night after night. Either way I have great respect and admiration for him. Conan wrote a smart, respectful, well thought out letter explaining the matter earlier this week, but when the lights were on and he was on air, he pulled no punches. I can’t imagine more than two days went by consecutively without Conan reminding us that this has been his life dream, and that he wanted nothing more than to live up to the storied franchise of which he was now a part. Sad is not what I feel. I’m glad he got a chance to stand up and throw his tantrum. I think those that watched him would say he was amazing in his sorrow over losing the show and though some would say he should have left it alone after issuing the statement, to them I say “I cannot wait to kick you in your teeth” because that’s basically what they’re asking him to accept NBC doing to him. Those high road idealists really get under my skin. I am impatient, and I am brash, but what I am not is a doormat. It warms my heart to see Conan go out the door at NBC with money in hand AND dignity intact. Bravo Conan. Bravo.

I’ve seen nearly every single one of Jimmy Fallon’s shows and to be honest he has come a long way in just his first season. No one on T.V. is more integrated into the show with hands on performances, and the way he commands the Roots deep and nearly limitless musical talent make him my best bet for a possible replacement. Not to mention access to A-list guests can’t hurt his show. But none of this really strikes me as what’s going to happen. If I were a gambling man (and I am!) my money is on Conan to make a Seth McFarlane like return to the “peacock” and not only command stupid amounts of money but to also lead the return of Late Night greatness at NBC. I can feel it almost! It just makes the most sense. I think they’ll both learn they need to other more than they realize. The picture at the top of this post is special to me. I found it thinking I could use it for a more personal post, but in the end it is a completely candid photo, of unposed people that very literally illustrates the situation Conan faces. We all only live once, and I'm a strong advocate of anyone doing what they can to ensure that this go 'round is their best because we've no guarantee of the length of this one, or certainty of another.