Hulk Smash?

I can't tell you how frustrating it is to be accused of something you haven't done. On T.V. whenever I see people in shows being accused of crimes they haven't committed I always laugh. Why get so upset? If you didn't do it, then the court will see that and I'm sure you'll be set free. The way these people act is just hilarious though. I'm sure in part it is theatrics, but another part of it mirrors true human emotion. In my head I tell myself I would smile and laugh. "You think I'm the one who killed that hooker? I don't even like sex that's offered to me oftentimes, so why would I be paying someone for services? Detective, you've got the wrong guy." In my head this is the calm refusal I would offer. But I think in reality it would be hard to deliver this speech as calmly as I've dreamt it up. Imagine being a kid in class accused of cutting the cheese, or a boss reprimanding you for a mess at the desk when you've just shown up for work. Imagine tripping over a dead body and when you stand up you're surrounded by police. Calm isn't exactly the prevailing emotion in most of these situations. What you want to do quickly and firmly is assert that this accusation is false. You want to make known quickly and if need be loudly that this is wrong. No NO NO! You've got the wrong guy here?! But what if someone is accusing you of being contrarian, or stubborn and argumentative, or always trying to be right?

Now you're stuck. Especially if this person is not all that calm themselves. It can sometimes be an untenable situation to try and tell someone forcefully and with all due care, that they are in fact wrong about you needing to be right all the time without seeming to prove their point. It's not impossible but I've come to realize I don't have the patience to pull it off. If I know I'm right and you're mistaken the Aries in me tells me to just shut up and emote "fuck off" towards the person. I've got stories of at least 3 people I still talk to on a regular basis who put me in this position. I tried to tell Franklin that Ben Rapelisberger won the Super Bowl as a rookie and once the wiki proved me wrong I spent 15 minutes apologizing. I think I'm the only person who does this. No one who tries to set me straight ever apologizes which is quickly climbing the ranks of things that annoy me. A long list indeed.

Most of all I find this situation funny indeed not just for its Catch-22 like segments but also because I simply cannot tell you how often I have to explain to them that I in fact am sure I'm sure because I only really speak when I'm sure. I hate sounding like a dumbass I apologize for 15 minutes not because the other person was right but because for 15 minutes I sounded like an idiot and they had to endure that. I used to bet my brother exorbitant amounts of money on things when we were kids. He'd try and tell me things like the sky was Green or that Raphael was the Blue Ninja turtle or something. (He's obviously the red one) And so every time he lost a bet he'd laugh hysterically or something and I would be incredulous. He still owes me like $252 Billion or something. I took that shit serious and he never won a single bet. Jerk.
I'm just going to shut up. When people accuse me of being stubborn or an ass they're never really wrong. I just don't think many folks have seen me melt down completely. Few people know just how "bad" i can get. And for someone who is willing to bleed for his loved one's I don't even think I wanna know what I'd do if someone really tried to get me on some false charges..? It couldn't go over well for anyone involved I know that much.

The Reeling (Miike Snow Remix)

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