A compromising Posistion

Betrayal is an interesting thing. People deal with it everyday. Perhaps the most interesting thing about being betrayed, is that it's a pure byproduct of being human. Society is a construction designed to keep human's from utter chaos. We pool our collective freedom's and in exchange we gain safety. However this peace of mind is delicate and there are those of us who still subscribe to the Hobbesian ideal that life is brutish and short. That humans are unfit to govern and to trust is a mistake. Albeit there is plenty of evidence to support this, it makes personal relationships quite difficult. Blocking your heart, your trust, and being uncomfortable is a safe thing, not an easy one. I wish there were some way to find answers for what our intended roles were. Monogamy? Polygamy? Hetero/Homo sexuality? What, if any of these are the correct way to live your life. Of course the simple answer is to find something that works for you. Surely in a planet of 6 billion individuals you can find at least one person with whom you share a common ideology. The trouble is that in a world where we seldom make real friends outside of our zip code, finding this person is something similar to finding mall parking on Black Friday. We must therefore make compromises to make the situation work for us.

soundboard.com

As I see it, finding someone with whom you can fight life's battles is the most important thing. A diad is an incredibly strong thing. Someone having your back is the key to human success. There are many times a parent won't do simple things for personal gain, but watch what actions they can do in the name of a child. Lovers traditionally pledge to serve one another until death do them apart. My favorite scene in any one movie is the one in Good Will Hunting. Robin Williams is explaining to Matt Damon that though his wife is dead, he remains unmarried...Because his "Wife is dead" The career comedian delivers these lines with such force that you don't doubt for one second he speaks of an actual lost love.
This picture I've described of monogamous, deep, everlasting love, is a tenuous one indeed. The same power this love brings, the power to send Mothers into burning buildings after children and Husbands into the ocean after drowning wives is the very same power that left Williams' character in a state on mental paralysis. His love was so great that when he lost his wife, she took with her part of his functionality. This love, is a wonderous thing, but when the trust is betrayed it can do irreparable damage. Crimes of passion are some of the hardest to predict, but easiest to understand.
So it begs the question is it a misguided idea to even attempt such relationships? If engaging in this kind of love opens a pandoras box of emotion and power the likes of which few of us are prepared to wield...then perhaps we should refrain. I could talk about the power love brings and what the right and wrong ways to use it are, but in the end when Love compels you to fly around the world just to see one you love for a moment, no one questions it. So when Love compels you to do something of equal magnitude in what can be seen as a destructive manner, then I won't be one to question those acts either.

As they say, "All is fair in Love & War". You may disagree, but I assure you...I'm not talking to you.

December 23, 2009



My eye’s burned, my lungs became intractable, and head begged me to lay it down in a state of rest. I saw things I never thought possible, a live horse on stage, a black man dancing as the Nutcracker, and a Pedophile as a main character in a major ballet. Amazing the things you learn at the local ballet. While I never knew this before it isn’t necessary for me to be in the absence of the smell of feces in order to have fun, however it is sufficient. So shouts to the nice old lady who taught me this very point at the Nut Cracker today.
Today marks a sad day for me. Christmas is this week and I will be back in school in January. This is the last free weekend I will have before real life begins again. Christmas, Rose Bowl, New Years, School. Almost that fast I’m back at it again. I have enjoyed my time at home, though it’s been tumultuous and painful in so many more ways than one. It feels good to be headed “home”. I really do wish things could stay this way just a bit longer. Enough about me though.
The Nutcracker as a play is an adaptation of the story written E.T.A. Hoffmann. It was commissioned by the director of the Imperial Theatres Ivan Vsevolozhsky in 1891, set to music by Tchaikovsky in 1891–92, and staged by Marius Petipa. It being my first ballet, It is of course now my favorite, or least favorite depending on how you see it. The pedophile I alluded to earlier is apparently the character known as Councilor Drosselmeyer. The fact that as soon as he appeared on stage and started touching children in ways that left them running for cover is what left me to this allusion. His mardi gras mask didn’t help his cause either. And though his part was small, it was one I could have done without altogether. The show in total was amazing but I doubt I will soon return as I found the errors throughout more entertaining than the shows intended means of entertainment...dancing.

One part about going to the hospital I loathe is seeing other patients. There is an underlying feel of camaraderie that many people espouse, and some try to facilitate. I am no one special and I think part of the reason I don’t try and make friends is because I don’t want to align myself with some group. We all go to the same hospital, we see the same doctors, our bodies have failed us in similar ways, yet do we really have anything in common? For the most part everyone is very nice and very concerned about the well being of others but I'm just never in the mood to share my time in the spotlight with people who have equally severe medical situations. I was in a bit of a funk. I've taken up a new hobby known formally as insomnia lately and so when I arrived at the hospital Monday morning around 630 AM I was in no real mood to do P.R. But of course it is in our lowest moments we are called upon to do our best work.


Shouts to the girl awaiting a dual lung AND Kidney transplant. I wish you the best baby doll!
Shouts to my man for turning 24 and playing doctor on my psyche all the while. Much Obliged.
Shouts to the University of Oregon. Im coming for ya! Bad news is on the way..I PROMISE!
Last but not least shouts to the little girl who caught stage fright at the show and had to be escorted off stage. It's ok you get MVP honors from me.

"You can't fight Fate"-Clyde Shelton
"Now that I cannot abide"-Aldo Raine
"May You Live Forever"-King Leonidas

To those who oppose me, may you bring me an honorable death...I'll settle for nothing less.

I wanna get away




kanYe West : Blog : TREE HOME


Pretty sick I must say. Though, a one bedroom hotel seems kinda strange. I might like to bring my own bedding.

Burrito Boy


This is my first post that isn’t just some pointed essay. As much as I enjoy learning new things and catching up on topics of interest, it’s the personal ramblings of people I admire that interest me most. I also was told that my penchant for posting videos on other peoples various accounts would find a good home in a blog format; So to begin, a new personal favorite of mine.

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All I can say is WOW! I am glad I am not a 98 lb. girl who had too many Vodka-Redbulls.
This video is why I do not drink. For fear that I too will one day lose my faculties, assault my friends sexually, and then get sucker punched while they hose me down in a bathtub. And this girl is especially lucky because her kids (lord willing!) will be able to relive this moment with her, all through the magic of modern technology. Take this moment to replace the young woman with your mother and then be thankful that it's just a thought.
This is the last week before Christmas officially arrives and I must say 2009 as a whole has been full of promise but just never quite as good as you thought it would be...Like the first time you had sex with a stanger. Tiger Woods was recently outed as a philanderer, I spent almost 4 months, in the hospital, and we elected our nations first black president. All in all not a shabby lineup of important events. Im not one to do those year end retrospectives, I can barely recall what was going on last month let alone what happened in February. What I do like to do is guess the future and for us our year of birth is so important in how we view it. For me the future seems bleak. My countries peak is behind it and all roads seem to lead the same direction. But for this girl things may be different. She was born in 1998 and at the ripe old age of 11 she is still a long ways from feeling the outside world is her responsibility. My memories of being 11 center around wanting to be older quicker (what a dummy I was) and not really understanding why Gummi bears weren't a food group. Take a look at this last video and think about what people being born as you read this have to look forward to, and why they're lucky they won't have to worry about remembering Britney Spears.

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I decided to name my blog after another personal favorite of mine. Like the stated motto it has a little bit of everything, and though it contains no bacon, Im not convinced it wouldn't be any less delicious if you sprinkled some on. When I refer to the blog I feel like I should be able to use the name in a sentence, like, "Have you been to "The Blankety Blank" today?" So as this blog rounds into it's final format I hereby dub this page "The Wet Bean and Cheese". The wet bean and cheese burrito is my FAVORITE thing about Oregon. I was introduced to the local establishment known as Burrito Boy and quickly fell in love. There are other, more extravagant things on the menu, but like me the WBC is simple and filling. It's also fairly cheap which brings it even closer to my heart. For all its artery clogging goodness, I simply cannot swear them off so I thought it was a good thing to use as a nickname here.

I hope you enjoyed today's update be on the lookout for RoseBowl coverage, why America still has a chance to be great again, and my new favorite running theme: Person least deserving of the space they take up in the universe!

Teacher's Pet

Full disclosure. I am the son of 2 teachers. This in no way biases my opinion that students in American classrooms are mostly mental midgets but that’s more the schools fault than theirs.

I found video recently of one such student, one who engaged in a physical altercation with a teacher. Now this incident sounds like a classic example of an adult losing control of a situation and harming a child. But lets be honest the 10th grade student was 2 years from being a legal adult. Fit to fight for her country, pay taxes, and watch R-rated films. Shouldn’t she be a tad closer to avoiding full on scraps with her teacher? The incident took place in May of 2008, in Stone Mountain, Georgia. The bible belt is notoriously weak when it comes to education but this story is dumb on all sides. The teacher claims to have been having trouble from the student all-day long and words had been exchanged prior to the incident. In fact witnesses claim that the tussle was initiated by a kick in the leg from the teacher to the student on her way out of the room. Now what makes this especially mindless on both parts isn’t that it happened or why it happened but when it happened.

These two fools fought each other over what amounts to nothing…on the last day of school. A day in which the schools population is somewhere around that of a theatre during a movies 15th week of release, on a Tuesday at 11 Am. Oh, and I forgot to mention it was a substitute. For all intents and purposes these two fine young women may not have ever even met.

So what, you ask is my point? Well like any fight, there is only one question, who won? The video evidence is there, as well as the post match aftermath, but unlike sanctioned boxing matches this event had more to it. The substitute may never teach again, and the student is facing starting her junior year on suspension. So who has it worse you ask? The teacher does, and it’s not close.

Getting beat up is always a bad look, but getting beat up, at work, by a teenager is just plain shameful. Not to mention the fact that you will NEVER be getting a job subbing in that state if anywhere ever again. When you woke up that day you surely never expected it to end that way. The sad part is it was up to her to stop it. Though the first blow appears to be thrown in self-defense it was still the first blow. She also later was manhandled and beaten by the student continuously while students stood by and laughed. I simply cannot accept that this would have happened in ay classroom I was ever in. If I were superintendent of that district please believe the student would be placed in some sort of remedial life skills class named, “Things never to do under any circumstances” in her case lets hope having kids is one of the subjects, and the teacher would be fired for acute incompetence but not before I was able to just give her the Ed Lover face for about 15 minutes. I would then follow her laughing as she was escorted off district property most likely onto her new occupation as a fry cook.

This country some call the greatest in the world sure is full of boneheads. Apparently though, one of our eastern friends has a few themselves. Back in February of 2008 a Swedish teacher was found guilty of flashing her 47 year old breasts at a student. What I love is her clear ineptitude of motive structures for teen boys because I can assure you a flash of the tits in response to any action of mine would surely have only resulted in me repeating said action as early and often as my 16 year old self could muster. The teacher said the boy had been writing filth and curse words on the board in class and her attempt to get him to stop was that? This makes no sense at all. I can’t imagine what she thought he’d do but I’m certain it wasn’t get her fired, though that is indeed what did happen. If there is any injustice here at all it is that she was also ordered to pay to the boy roughly $700 (5,000 Swedish Kronor) The court said the boy suffered undue “trauma” as a result of her flash. I admit 47 isn’t the age of most models in the world but he saw tits and didn’t have to pay for it, he WAS paid for it. That’s a travesty.

You may disagree that a teacher fighting a student is her fault just because she was attacked, or that a boob flash doesn’t result in trauma for young boys but that’s ok, because I am not talking to you.

Story on Ga. Teacher Fight

Video of Fight

Teacher Flashes Tits

The Patrick Bateman School of Nonchalance

In my haste I forgot to engage in even minor formalities during the first post. The only people reading this blog so far are people I've actually spoken to and know. Should this ever change, then for the uninitiated, this is where you should become familiar with me and what this is all about. First off, I like rules. Not in a pedantic, "the world depends on order" sort of way, but in a "this party is more fun if we're all dancing to the same song" way. This blog will not be a single subject affair. I hope to touch on everything and offer my opinion to matters big and small. I'm not anonymous and I don't intend to be mysterious but who I am and the functional adult person you may know overlap quite a bit, but not completely. So many people ask me about JT-Rex and what it means. I have so many names to so many people. Some see me as 1844, some see me as Mr. Roberts' son, and others see me and say, "bad news is headed this way", (sometimes I mean for that to happen). Regardless of that, JT-Rex writes these works; it's from that P.O.V. I focus my ideas.
I’m toying with the idea of including things like running gags that I do. For instance I kind of want to do a "Things I'd tweet" segment, but I could also just tweet them. So that seems dumb at the moment. I also stole an idea from Philip DeFranco and thought to have a sponsor or mascot for the week. Something funny or interesting that I use as a theme for posts during that time period i.e.: Patrick Bateman and his school. It's an irony but he fits in here I think...are my ideas are actually getting worse as I say them or is it just me? As you can see these ideas are not well formed but I will be toying with format, color, and layout for a while until I get it to the point where I am the LEAST upset by it.
I may be the first person to devote TWO posts to administrative matters but if I didn't I wouldn't be happy or comfortable going forward.
All the great things in life have some oral history, set of rules, or tradition that precedes you; and it is through those the story of any institution is told. So what you have in this is my voice. It is not a daily blog. I’d be lying to us both if I said I would update this daily. Little of what I do is interesting to me so why should I think it would be interesting to you? Consider this a first person trip through my life.
My first post was a bit over done. However it was more me reassuring myself than anything else. I suppose just the fact that I used blogspot and not some, from scratch website proves that I don’t really care about making THE most indelible mark possible, not to mention I have neither the urge nor the incentive to make mine the GREATEST blog ever. Besides who would want that? How embarrassing...


In conclusion be on the lookout for my first official post in the coming days. 2009 has 19 days left in it and to be honest a year that started with such high hopes is coming to an end I couldn't have predicted given a thousand tries. I tend to be adversarial in my writing, daring the subject or audience to prove my point wrong. And I suspect that in my next post your stance may differ from my own, which is fine...because we both know whom I'm talking to.

Step 1

In the day and age that I type these words, Blogging has come to symbolize the pervasive egocentrism of the world we live in, which is largely why it pains me so much to do this.This blog will be my exercise in masochism. I am a perfectionist at heart, and after I am dead and gone, should anyone waste the time to look over my life, I want them to be impressed with what I did while I was here. "Just for fun" or "half assed" aren't really in my vocabulary. So even writing this pains me because decisions are made, to be second guessed. Even good ones can be better. There are infinite ways I could format this. Multiple ways in which my words could be written, and myriad techniques I could use to make my work better. So to satisfy my urge to emote, while respecting my need for all public works to be relevant now and forever onward; I've simply promised myself that I will never forget my 3 rules of being human.


1) No one cares.
2) I am not unique.
3) I will not be happy with the results.

These rules seem blunt and somewhat anti-social, but in all honesty I suffer from some Quixotean assumption that what I do MUST matter and therefore DON'T do things simply to avoid people saying what I've done isn't good enough. Interesting being that I was the kid in class whose hand was invariably raised, of course back then I was certain I knew the answer.
Digressions aside, I'm done airing out my insecurities and hope to provide an insight into the world as I see it, you may agree or you may not. I look forward to hearing about it either way. This isn't for you, I'm not concerned with your enjoyment. Nothing on this Earth needs me to survive so I have no misconceptions that I am somehow important or that even by being right, my ideas hold any special weight. This right here is therapy for me. It is a shrine to all that I admire and a place where I will air my grievances against that which I do not.

If you ever feel my words are too sharp, my feelings to blind, or my stance too bold, then worry not....because I'm not talking to You.