Fiddle Sticks

Everyone always wants to know what’s different for me now that I’ve had surgery and I can say that for the most part things are the same. I have to adapt my style as an athlete however. Running doesn’t come as naturally as it did before. But I feel as if we’ve been over this before. And besides, I’ve to try and do anything full speed yet. No full court basketball, no mile, no trip down the hill on a snowboard. What I have noticed is that concentrating during workouts can be difficult. I find that I carry a certain amount of claustrophobia with me everywhere I go now. Im so used to not seeing anyone after being home for 9 months that It can be weird for me to be in a gym filled with 80 or 90 other people all within plain sight, EFX’ing, jogging, and all together gyrating the calories away. I don’t run laps though, I hop on the nearest spin bike, turn up the tunes, and try to keep my head down.

Add in yoga pants to this equation and with me, you have a nearly untenable situation. Allow me to stop for just one second and reaffirm my deep, deep belief that tights and other form fitting pants of that nature designed for women are a gift from the Lord 8lb 6oz baby Jesus himself! I have neither the means, mode, nor method to fully state just how grateful I am towards whomever it was that brought this phenomena into style. But there is no outfit in this day and age a woman cannot build around a pair of tights. I absolutely love that girls wear them and I would rate them on a scale that goes only from good idea to Fantastic idea. Kudos to you sir or madam for bringing us this great gift.

Something that has held my attention is the idea of pets. In my youth we never had any pets, except for a snake once. I enjoyed that. Now though in the past two months I’ve lived with 3 different cats and was ready to move in with a friend who has a dog. All of which suits me fine except these animals are incapable of denying their base pleasures. The cats see my earbuds as playthings and dogs either love me or hate me there is no in between. This is less palatable for me. I find that cats are born with the entitlement of ten Hilton sisters and dogs when friendly are amazing but when hostile are a terror. My friends dog Mickey, is an especially awesome dog. He’s a short haired pointer and he has a blotch on his back that roughly resembles Mickey Mouse. I wouldn’t mind living with him, alas his house is DEEP in the Eugenian backcountry. I did enjoy meeting him though.

My stance on keeping pets however remains unchanged. I really don’t think you should keep pets of any sort. I never feel comfortable enslaving something just for my comfort. Snakes, fish, and lizards are all semi-appropriate because they don’t really have a social life. Dogs, cats, and other warm blooded pets however all are good pets because they have personalities. We keep them because they are like people, but make better friends. There is one exception however. If you want to get me a gift for any reason I would love a pet Jaguar. I don’t really mean the British car, but that would suffice as well. What I’m referring to I’m sure is equally expensive but TEN TIMES MORE BALLER! Bring me a Jaguar and I will name him the Ghost Face Kitten! I’ve found the place I want to first visit outside the country (Egypt), the car I’d most want to buy (Prius), and now the pet I most want by my side to frolic with me Sigfried and Roy style. (though without the gayness and face mauling if at all possible) I don’t see any downsides to this idea. Luxury pets are awesome. Walking him would be sure to impress, he’d be a cat, but still intimidate dogs, and the personal protection factor is just amazing. I dare you to step to me and Ghostface. Please no really, do it. I will hear nothing to the contrary on this. There is just no way having a pet Jag’ could be bad. I’ll have to investigate more but a Leopard may be a good substitute or even more appealing choice, but at the moment it’s the Jaguar or nothing. Somewhere Waffles is very mad at me right now.

Whatever, she smells like Pussy anyway

No comments:

Post a Comment