"Gag" order Pt.1

Jay-z said, "Triple entendre don't even ask me how" but I think I just figured it out with that, there title. Smiley Face, Wink, haha I'm kidding. I'll be happy to tell any of you who care to ask. And here's a hint: Yes, one meaning is definitely NOT a request for Sonic Burger though their food is quite gag worthy. In other news I've been getting feedback from friends and family who all say my writing is good but I know you're all lying. People who are good at things get hated on, asked to stop, told they're no good. I haven't a one hater...that I know of. So anyway through the various channels I've been asked to not discuss who or what I want so much so I'm here to verify that since I last washed my sheets on Monday the best thing that's been in my bed besides me are these tickets. Aug 13 @ the Roseland Theatre...it should be a blast. See Part.2 to find out more. (The hair tie is unrelated. They just keep popping up when I clean?)

I don't believe in sampling yourself, so instead of including some reheated stuff I wrote a while back I'm giving you a whole new update. And speaking of which as I write I noticed Big Boi has a sample of his own voice in a song from Sir Lucious Leftfoot: The Son of Chico Dusty. And while I can appreciate the prolix nature of his album title, it gave me pause to see such an amateurish maneuver on his first solo album. It was then that I realized Kanye's newest song gives us the explanation when he says, "I don't need your pussy I'm on my own dick." The initial song is a banger and this new track is one as well so in Mr. Patton's eye's it was simply a matter of himself being the best one for the job. Repurposing material has a decidedly second hand feeling to it because said material will never stand truly apart from it's initial use but the song sounds great and the album as a whole sounds amazing so if one song sounds like it came from a mixtape then I can forgive.

A request was recently made for me to censor myself and I had been meaning to expand my subject material anyway so I'd like to share for a moment the fact that I've just seen Hot Tub time machine. Normally an occurrence as run of the mill as this wouldn't merit a mention but the message I took from it was shockingly narrow and offensive. I know...shocking I took issue with something, what a surprise. This like a lot of other movies was made simply to get people to see it regardless of whether or not they would leave pleased with the experience. Some gratuitous nakedness and profane jokes were thrown in to make the majority of people happy they saw it but little else is even in this flic. It seems like artistic vision was not a word thrown around much on set. I enjoyed the comedy of a flashback to the 80's. It's amazing how much of a decade I only lived through 4 years of is so ingrained in my life. I was also pleased by the original takes on time travel theory and comedic elements found within the film. Wondering when and how the bellhop would lose his arm brought my great joy as did the scene where Craig Robinson's character is "forced" to have sex with a groupie in his jacuzzi. (a different one) This was also a rare instance in which I liked all the actors involved. And most of all I loved the way past and present were contrasted. Over and Over and OVER the point is made that communication in the past ten years has changed so much that we couldn't even talk to people in the late 80's about HOW we even communicate. It's awesome and funny and sad to think about all at once. The point is made when Rob Cordry's character mockingly laments, "Oh, what? You worried you'll have to actually talk to girls with your actual mouth?" It was like the director was screaming "Look! See! It's right here in front of you! Now internalize this and do something about it!! I know this feeling well. Smiley Face. What disappointed me was that each character was portrayed as a modern day version of a common story of failure. In this land where we are promised freedom the only thing we truly have the freedom to do is fail.

Success is a possibility but failure is a guarantee for us humans. Anyway all these guys were pissed and sad with life. They go back in time to the "good ol'days" which don't fucking exist by the way, and were charged with sitting there and not doing anything different. Now lets stop for one second and think about this. Does anyone think about the past in the context of "boy I hope that shit is just the same way I remember it"? Fuck no. If things were good you'd want them to start sooner and end later, and if they were bad then the inverse would be true. So expecting these men to go back to their formative years and make the same mistakes with none of the consequences readily apparent what were we to believe they'd do? It's not like things could get worse right? By the way the whole ominous warning thing with Chevy Chase was stupid. I don't think it made any sense considering they all vastly varied their behavior and nothing bad happened because of it. So to get more to my point the movie seems to say it's ok to hate your present because we all wish we could have done things differently and it's never too late to start changing your mindset. The thing is no one goes back in time and does this. Instead they leave behind a member of the crew who then goes on to use his knowledge of world events to make himself into a mogul on the scale of Bill Gates Multiplied by Tom Cruise. So instead of this being a movie about something redeeming, like not living with mistakes, instead it basically says the only way to be happy is to realize the parts of your life that you don't like, focus on them, then send a buddy into the past to change the future for you and then hand you happiness you did nothing to earn on the backend. Sweet idea? Yes of course. Plausible concept? Not in the least. Rationality be damned, but this movie didn't have the comedic value nor the Breasticular content of wedding crashers so why I wasted my time with it I will never fully know. Next on my list of movies to see is Harry Brown. It's about an old guy who gets pissed and then starts killing people while looking for revenge. Sound familiar?

Here is another story from my time in the hospital:

One night the nurse came in to take my blood and she literally pulled out a manual and a flashlight because she didn't want to wake me. I called the head nurse into my room the next morning and expressed my concerns about the matter. I never saw her again. True story. I wonder how many nurses I got fired?

This is bloody weird. I'm not sure what to think about this picture. I do like gummy bears. But I don't like heart transplants soooo...yea?

That's all I got kin'folks. I'm gonna go write Part.2 and It should be in the next 24-48 hours.

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